


The Sweet (New) Direction of Rachel Berry

by CAOSCellBlockTango



Category: Glee
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-14 16:48:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 44,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28923834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CAOSCellBlockTango/pseuds/CAOSCellBlockTango
Summary: What if Rachel Berry took a decision after Special Education and the reveal that nobody liked her in Glee Club? Navigate the life of Rachel Berry as her Glee colleagues - at least some of them - come to realizations about their diva.
Relationships: Rachel Berry/Finn Hudson, Rachel Berry/Jesse St. James, Rachel Berry/Kurt Hummel, Rachel Berry/Noah Puckerman, Rachel Berry/Sam Evans
Comments: 13
Kudos: 21





	1. A Different Direction

**Author's Note:**

> With lockdown, I went on watching Glee again, and it give me a few ideas about fanfictions. To be honest, I don't exactly know where I'm going with this story but we'll see - you support and ideas are welcome
> 
> Disclaimer: I obviously do not support what Mark Salling did as a person. However, I like Puck as a character and I do think that the show stripped him down of his complexity and depth. Likewise, I don't condone Lea's behavior on the show, but I find Rachel to be an interesting character.

_“We all just pretend to like you”_ , Santana’s words had cut deep into Rachel’s heart. She thought she had found a family in the Glee Club, people who did like her – or at least, tolerate her – and her abrasive only-child diva persona. But the truth was that it was all in her head. They just pretended to like her. Noah was the only one who tried to protest. All the others stood idle. They agreed. She was only good for solos and competitions, and they only put up with her because she was their winning wild card. How could she be stupid enough to believe otherwise? They barely hang out with her outside of Glee and High School – even when Finn was her boyfriend, he’d limit their interactions to a minimum and would be ashamed of publically being with her.

_Well, at least he would not have to think about it anymore_ , she snorted. He broke up with her for one single kiss she immediately told him about, a mistake she’s made out of spite, out of despair also. He had outright lied to her while he had countless occasions to tell her the truth. But he remained quiet. She stayed with him during months, oblivious to his dirty secret. She sat with _her_ for months, put up with her aggressiveness, her digs at her looks, her physique, for the sake for the team, for months. Hell, she sat with them all while they knew. All of them knew, and no one ever said a word to her. They did not even tolerate her enough to tell her a truth about her love life.

Then it flooded back to her. _“You talk too much and usually about yourself_.” How could she date someone who told her this? Had she stooped so low, felt so desperate that she gave into him? Where was that proud girl with the high self-esteem? On a break. But Rachel decided in that very instant, while she was sitting in her bedroom, she would come back – and never leave. She would be the old Rachel, full of confidence, with high standards – even if it meant she would be alone, for a little while.

Her mind had opened the Pandora Box of memories she had buried deep, and it would not stop there. Rachel Berry had excellent memory. The little sentences came flowing. _“I just want to punch you in the face every time you talk”_ Quin had told her. _“She wants me to set myself on fire_ ” Noah had said once, not knowing she was behind the door, listening to it. _“I am more talented than you_ ”, Brittany chipped in. _“I don’t tell you’re annoying, no offence_ ” Artie commented. _“Don’t force me to hit you_ ” Mercedes interjected. The list could go on and on. Even Mr. Schuester had not spared her. _“You’re a lousy sport.”_ Not to mention the horrendous names. “Man-hands”, “Stubbers”, “Ru Paul” and so forth. And the others remained silent, did not defend her. Not once. Even the new kid, Sam, had not once taken her defense while she could swear the saw him rocking his body – his very attractive body – to the songs she was belting during Glee rehearsals.

_It’s all coming back to her now_. Yes, she was dramatic that way, always speaking with lyrics songs that would sometime better express what she was feeling on the spot. She had refused to hear all of this, to take it into account. But there it was. They all pretended to like her. It was all a _charade_. Her decision was taken. She needed to shift her approach and do what is best for her. She would still take dancing, acting and singing lessons and continue volunteering. Very few people knew that Rachel did volunteer, they all thought that when she referred to her “busy schedule” all she was doing was sing, dance, do sports and everything Broadway-related. But the reality is that she had picked up helping others at the tutoring club at McKinley, she had helped Ms. Puckerman with Hospital activities for children and offered free singing lessons at the community center in town. None of them knew. Not even Noah. He was not interested. They used to be friends once, when they were kids. But that ship has long sailed and ended like the Titanic the day he threw that first slushy at her. The only one who knew was Jesse, her ex. She wondered for a brief instant how he was doing in Los Angeles – his skin must be gorgeous with that California tan. He found out only because her fathers asked her about the Hospital once, when they were having dinner.

She would not renounce her absolute dream to become a Broadway legend, never. But nor did she need the Glee Club. She was talented, she knew that, she could feel it course in her vein. But she had more than sheer talent. She was determined – stubbornly determined – and a hard worker. She knew she could do it on her own. When none of them – except Kurt, with whom she became friends – called her or even wished her “happy new year”, she knew what she had to do.

The first practice after Christmas, she went straight to Mr. Schuester, he seemed bored at the idea of hearing her ramble once again. Her heart ached: “Mr. Schuester, sir, I have an announcement to make, if you don’t mind.” He nodded, not even gracing her with an answer.

She stood there, in the heart of the Choir Room – _for the last time_ , she thought. This simple realization hit her and she almost backtracked on what she was about to do. But she could not. It was better for everyone, better for her. To stop pretending. She looked around, Finn was staring at her with a mixture of disgust and… longing? That when he was not openly drooling over Quin Fabray, who, in turn, was sending him flirty looks while giggling at what her nerdy boyfriend was telling her in his ear. Then there was Santana and Brittany, probably bitching about someone – most likely her. Tina threw her one of those dirty slouches she mastered better than anyone. Then Santana exclaimed: “Get it over with already, Berry – whatever solo you have prepared over the break.” All the others snickered at that, when they did not outright giggle.

“Right. I prepared no solos. At least not today” she began, her mouth getting slightly dry as she struggled to organize her thoughts. It seemed pretty clear to her when she rehearsed in her room, acting as if it were nothing. But even her was not that good of an actress to pretend as if it what she was going about to say did not hurt – even if a little. She took a deep breath and continued. “No, actually what happened before the break led me to think about the club, about…”

“Here we go again,” Mercedes said out loud, her eyes rolling. Everyone laughed. That’s when Rachel snapped, decided that she should leave all scruples aside. “I am quitting.” When she said those words, everyone looked at her in stupefaction. “Rachel, what do you mean you’re qutting,” Will asked her, worried. He could not believe his lead singer would storm out, again. He wanted to believe she would come back. But something in her voice told him that if let her walk out this time, she would never come back. Ever. He felt it to his very core. She was poised, her voice calm, measured, quiet but firm, devoid of any drama or theatrics as compared to the previous times she’s done it.

“Thanks for asking, Mr. Schuester. Please let me clarify. I went home after Sectionals, and realized that Santana was right. Nobody her likes me. You like my voice, you too, Mr. Schuester.” She refused to refer to him by his nickname, “Mr. Schue.” That was for glee-clubbers only, and she was about to cease to be one. “And I want to express my deepest gratitude to Santana for having the courage to state out loud the feeling everyone had bottled up about me. Apart from Noah who weakly tried to defend me, probably because he was afraid I would tell his mother at Temple, no one objected. And, why would you? It was the common truth you all knew about. Just like you all knew about Santana and Finn’s motel affair. On both, you decided to conceal the truth from me. You had to protect your friend, Finn. I never was your friend. I realize that now. As much as I love this club and what we do here, I cannot stay in a place I am not wanted.”

“Rachel…” Finn breathed, he seemed utterly heartbroken – or confused, it was hard to know with him.

“No, Finn. There is not a word that will ever make me change my mind. The reality is if it weren’t for my talent, half of this club would still be throwing slushies at me. But not to worry, you are capable of winning without me. Quinn has a lovely voice, a unique sweetness I wish I had. Tina has alto qualities no one can rival with. Mercedes can sing every song that exists on this planet. Bar none. Santana showed us, showed you all, that you could perfectly win without me. Santana, your rendition of Valerie was breathtaking. Really. You rock jazz like no other. And of course, my dancing albeit good, is miles away from Mike’s or Brittany’s. With Sam joining this year, the male capabilities only got greater. He is a great addition to Finn’s, Noah’s and Artie’s voices. All of this to say, you don’t need me, and even if you did, quite frankly, it would not be enough.”

The room went silent. Puck wanted to speak to her, but he knew her. She had that look in her eyes once, when she told him she would tell their elementary teacher that it was not his fault he could not get the book she asked, and that she could share his if she wanted to. That gleam. He recognized it, and he knew there was nothing – absolutely nothing anyone could do to make her renounce her decision. Yet, he tried. “Rachel, please, can we speak for a second? Just the two of us?” Finn glared at him when he asked.

“We can speak later Noah. Although as I understood, we were never friends, so I am not sure what you want to say. But sure.” Puck physically recoiled when she used the words he had used on the bleachers, last year, when she was breaking up with him. They used to be friends. “One last thing. I never pretended. I liked each and every one of you, sincerely. If you need any help from me, I’m not going anywhere – at least for now – so please don’t hesitate. And best of luck for Regionals, and Nationals ultimately.”

As she finished her speech, she exhaled one last time, went to the chair she briefly claimed at the beginning of the session and grabbed her bag. Quietly. She felt in harmony with her decision. She did not regret it one bit. She felt the eyes of her ex-fellow glee-clubbers bore on her back, but she stood still. They all saw here depart calmly, her steps confident, not rushed. There was theatricality, of course, there would be – but this time around, it lied in the delicate gestures she had in picking up her bag, in walking, in closing the door behind her. Once she was out of sight, the Glee Club erupted.

“What are supposed to do without our lead singer Mr. Schue?” Tina asked, worried. Even the Unholy Trinity seemed taken aback. Then, Noah stood up and marched to Finn. “This is all your fault, you’ve treated her like crap from the beginning. Telling her to change her looks, her outfits, breaking up with her like she was worth nothing…”

“Of course, this had nothing to do with you kissing my girlfriend. Again” Finn said, bolting out of his chair. The two jocks went back and forth, Mr. Schue trying as much as he could to avoid the physical fight. “It was actually our fault, all of us,” Sam said quietly. “I don’t know her very well, but everyone told me she was annoying, so I guess they must’ve been right. And sure, Rachel can be overbearing but we all have our flaws. We just weren’t able to accept hers and now she’s gone. That’s as simple as this.” Sam had never told anyone, but he admired Rachel. She had a goal and had that ability to never deviate from it, let herself get distracted. Of course, there was her voice. He wanted to get to know her better, actually it was among his new year’s resolution. Now, she was gone.

That night, when Finn got home, he was dejected. His mother asked him what was going on while they were eating dinner together. Kurt had returned from Dalton because he finished classes early that day. “What’s wrong honey? You’ve barely touched your steak”, Carol asked, worried that her son got into troubles. “It is nothing mom. Not to worry. It’s just that Rachel quit Glee Club, and it’s never going to be the same.” Finn looked around, his mother was shocked. Kurt, on the other hand, seemed unsurprised. He kept eating, his sight focused on his plate. That’s when it struck Finn. “You knew,” he murmured looking at his step-brother.

“I did,” Kurt said, darting his eyes in Finn’s as if he dared him to say anything.

“You knew, and you did not tell me.”

“Why would I? It was not my place, Finn.”

“Because I love her. Because her and I are endgame and that we are supposed to be Finn and Rachel, Glee leads.”

“I would review my plans. I don’t think she’s coming back. Neither to Glee, nor to you.”


	2. The Tutoring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rachel goes back to her other extra-curricular activities and run into one Sam Evans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New Chapter with an interaction between Sam and Rachel. I am huge Samchel chipper, but we'll see how it goes for them !

Finn woke up feeling like throwing up, his discussion with Kurt did not go well yesterday. After his stepbrother had left the table, he followed him in his room: “What do you mean she’s not coming back to Glee?” Finn asked, dumbfounded. _What do you mean she’s not coming back to me? We love each other. I love her_. Kurt perfectly understood the subtext to Finn’s question, but he decided not to push him, at least not tonight. So, he played along.

“Well, you guys hurt her. You all focused on what was worse in Rachel. Arguably, I can understand why. But you know, I got to see a whole different side of her when I faced all those troubles with Karofsky. She is the one who stood by me, probably the only one really. Not to mention Sam.” Kurt still could not completely forgive Finn for sitting quiet, letting him get bullied, even after the singing, the wedding and the apologies, Finn had shown that when push comes to shove, he’d worry about popularity and football before he would worry about others. In that regard, Rachel and he were complete opposites.

“Kurt, I said I was sorry, I did not know…” Finn tried, before being interrupted. “That he threatened to kill me. Yup, got the memo. Rachel had no idea either, just for the record. Anyway, going back to the point. She understood she was not wanted in the club. I mean, she was as a singer – you’d be crazy not to want her, I think I could even convince the Warblers to make an exception on their no-girl policy for her – but as a person, she understood she had no one left in there when everything unfolded in the green room. And another trait you should know about Rachel, her pride has no boundaries, and well, she felt she only had one decision to take. So, she did. Frankly? As her friend, I encouraged it.”

“That gives the Warblers free pass, doesn’t it? Us losing our best singer” _by far_ , Finn wanted to add. But he abstained, he did not want to show how much her leaving had affected him, well beyond Glee affairs.

“I haven’t looked at it that way, but yes. It sure does. But honestly Finn, it was not the reason. When none of you said they actually liked her, she just felt that being there in Glee club was pointless. I mean, the whole point was to build something together, as unit and well, you made it clear that she was not part of it. Hell, _we_ made it clear. I have my fair share in that. Although I did not know her back in the day. Truly know her. She is kindhearted. Overbearing, sure. But she is the most caring person I’ve ever met…”

“Yes, right” Finn exhaled, exasperated. “I dated her, remember? I know she can be. But she can also go on kissing your best friend and break your heart.” Kurt was not going to re-litigate that with his idiotic stepbrother, he already had told him his two cents on that. “Well, then nothing to discuss. I mean, she’s out of your way. You’ll only have to cope with her in Spanish class. She’ll be out of your way. You’ll be able to get over quicker, and get back with Quinn or Santana, or whoever.”

Kurt had left the room, and all Finn was able to do, was think about that conversation. Kurt had been wrong. When he stepped in Spanish class this morning he tried to locate Rachel, to no avail. Mr. Schue seemed dejected, he motioned for Finn to get closer to his desk. “She’s gone.” Finn’s heart skipped a beat, or ten. “Rachel, she has transferred to AP Spanish. She said it was the only class she wasn’t an AP, and that it would look better on her college application. The reality is that I think she’s trying to put as much distance as she can between herself and Club.” Finn could only nod and joined his seat. Sure, Rachel was an ace at school and he knew she only stayed in Regular Spanish to be with him and the rest of the people taking the class. Puck looked at him questioningly when he sat beside him. “Rachel switched Spanish classes. She’s in AP.” Puck had a weird look on his face, he looked, distraught. Finn had never looked at that expression on Puck’s face in almost a decade-long friendship. He then wondered whether Rachel and himself were an item. He did not dare to ask. He broke up with Rachel, and made Puck promise to leave her alone. Now that he thought of it, Puck was not the most reliable in that best friend’s girlfriend thing – understatement of the year – so he finally had to ask. “Are you and Rachel…” “No.” The answer was flat, left no room for discussion.

Sam Evans was not cool. He pretended to be. When he got home, he would get into his comics world, and get to actually be the dork he is. He was lucky Quinn Fabray would give him the time of the day, let alone date him. So, he had to act cool, to please her. That is why, he could not tell his friends where he headed after class. He lied, saying he needed to tend to his sister, Stacey. Instead, there he was, at the tutoring club. He wanted to make his parents proud, and for that, needed to up his grades, especially in English where his grades were absolutely lackluster. He tried, hard but those dudes in old book spoke weird, and he had a tendency to mix up these complicated syllables one with another. The tutoring might help, he thought. He entered and the manager showed him to a room where a tutor was free for the next hour and a half.

“Hello, sorry to interrupt, I am here for English tutoring, I’ve been told to come here, I am…” he began, then the girl with the chestnut hair and strawberry scent – _what? It was lingering in the air_ – shot her head off of the book she was reading and shot him a megawatt smile he had seen before. “Rachel? What are you doing here? I thought you’d be…” He did not think where she would be, probably dancing or singing off somewhere.

“At singing and dancing lessons?” she said, chuckling. “Well, yes. I will, that’s why I’ll need to leave in about an hour. But until then, what can I do for you Samuel?” She had a softer smile on her face, not that mega-watt she initially had. This one seemed sincerer, more touching also, it is as if she let him see a part of her, the part that hurts. _Of course, she would hurt_ , Sam thought. _We have been awfult to her_.

“Rachel, you don’t have to do this. I mean, after what happened with Glee and everything. I can just swing by later and get tutoring from someone else.”

“Don’t worry, Samuel. I knew when I took on tutoring last year that I would not always run into people I liked or who liked me. I mean, the second part is not that complicated, not too many like me. I tutored Karfosky once, if you must know. Anyway, you’re here for a reason. So Am I. So, let’s get to it, shall we?” Sam remained speechless. She was willing to help him, she told them so during her long speech in the Choir Room. Then he felt a pang at his heart, remembering that she basically compared his visit to Karofsky’s.

Sam must say that Rachel was an outstanding tutor. She was patient, considerate, gave him pointers to understanding more easily concepts of literature and even accepted to lend him her flash cards, as she’s taken the same class with the same teacher, the previous year. When the tutoring session came to an end, he thought fifteen minutes had passed. He got to see another side of Rachel. He saw that determination, that grit that was so annoying in Glee, he saw it all now but it translated into determination that he understood and succeeded. She was no quitter. In every sense of the term. That was _ironic_ – he had learned all about irony during their tutoring session – since she literally “quit” Glee, her words, but he knew she did not quit her Broadway dreams. He wished he knew how to dream so big. Maybe she could teach him during another tutoring session?

“Samuel, I apologize profusely but the tutoring session has come to an end. Here is how it works. Either you were satisfied with our initial session and wish to pursue or common work, or you feel like you would benefit from a different approach and you can reschedule to have a different student tutor you…”

“No!” he screamed, fearing that she would walk away from him. For some reason, he wanted to have her around and since this was not going to be at Glee for the foreseeable future, it had to be tutoring. Plus, she was very good at it. “What I meant is that I enjoyed working with you, very much so Rachel, and I would like it if we could keep up the good work. If that is okay with you?”

“Sure is, Samuel. I teach people equally – I do not select and I do not expect anything from them except doing their best during tutoring and in class, but that goes without saying.” Rachel needed to make sure that he understood that this was not a friendship offer. I mean, she always thought Sam was a nice guy, but she did not want him to believe that she was desperate enough to use tutoring as a means to getting friends. She tutors a lot of people at school, and most of them enjoy the progress they make under her watch – but that is it. She did not develop any friendship with them.

“Great, I’ll go make the necessary appointments. Thank you, Rachel,” he said, sending her a small smile. As he was walking back to the main desk, she called on him: “Samuel, wait. I need to tell you something, but I want you to hear what I say attentively and understand that what I am suggesting, all I am suggesting is for your own good. I don’t want you to take anything personally. Because it is nothing personal.” There it was, Sam thought, _she found out I am dumb_. “You’re not dumb” she said, with a fond laugh. “I think you said that out loud. No, you are not dumb. You are actually very clever and committed, I am sure you’ll achieve whatever your set you mind on.” No one had ever believed in him, even his parents had given up on him and pushed for him to be as good at football as possible.

“However,” Rachel spoke again. She cleared her voice: “However, I think I know why you’re struggling a bit with English. I think that is because you may suffer for mild dyslexia. Nothing severe that would hamper your life, but it would explain your learning difficulties, in particular when it comes to languages. Therefore, I suggest I try to have a speech therapist come to our next session together, so that you can meet and work on some solutions that might help you.”

Sam was at loss of words. _Dyselxic_? He’d never thought about it. He always assumed he was stupid, because everybody did. But there was Rachel Berry telling him he might actually be dyslexic, and that she wanted to help him. “Why not? I mean I’d have to think about it. Maybe I can mention it to the main desk when I’ve made up my mind?” Rachel looked at him, she understood it was something he needed to come to terms with, she did not want to push him. Instead, she just said: “of course, or just text me. I’ll be able to set it up more easily myself. I believe you have my number.”

Sam shook his head, his cheeks turning red. She had given him her number with a full smile on during his first day at Glee. She said it was because she was captain, well co-captain with Finn, and that he might need to get in touch at some point. He had deleted her number, because he thought she was weird. He didn’t delete Finn’s number. After the hour he’s spent with her, he felt awful. Rachel was able to see the wheels turning in his head, and she got it. Why would Sam Evans, hottest boy at McKinley, football stud, popular beyond popularity, dating head cheerleader Quinn Fabray, keep her number and take the risk of getting caught with “Rachel Berry” on his phone? She gave him another smile, outright sad and understanding at the same time. Sam wanted to dig himself into a hole and disappear forever when he saw the pain in her eyes. It lasted just for a few seconds, she quickly regrouped, put her walls back up and said, in a neutral tone – almost neutral, he could perceive the slight shake in her voice: “Very well, in that case, yes, just contact the tutoring main desk and they will let me know and coordinate with me to make the necessary arrangements. I’ll see you in three days? Have a nice day, Samuel.”

“Rachel…” But she was already gone, her head held high, her beautiful neck – _beautiful neck? You are with Quinn, hot Quinn Fabray_ – on full display. He ran after her in the hallways, “Rachel, please wait.” She turned to him, her eyes darting around. “I must leave Samuel, and so should you. You don’t want to be seen with me in the hallways.” Sam did not fully comprehend. “Why is that?”, he asked.

“I am a freak, a pariah. You’re a football player. I’ll go through the backdoor entrance and will leave you take the main one. It’s better that way. Hopefully, not one would have witnessed this small interaction between us. I’ll see you at tutoring, Samuel.”

_It’s Sam_ , he thought. But before he could say or do anything, she took a left – or was it a right? Yes, he was dyslexic, he’d just realized that. Certainly, he was both dumb and dyslexic. _Great_. No question he was dumb, otherwise he would have seen before that all Rachel ever tried to do, was to belong. Like he tried to. The only difference? She did while remaining true to herself whilst he had to change pretty much anything about himself in public. If anything, she was braver than him, braver than any of them. That alone showed that she would be going places. And now, they – the Glee Club – _we_ , had pushed her out of the place where she could be herself and live her passion at the fullest. Yes, he was dumb.

He was also dumb because it took a tutoring session, a single hour, with her alone, to figure out that she was a caring, loving girl, sweet and determined. God only knew how talented she was, and she knew it. If she was a guy, he thought, she’d be considered cool and ambitious, but women with a dream, with an ambition always had it harder. He had a little sister, Stacey, and he would be damned if anyone would ever stand in the way of her dreams. Yet, that is exactly what he had done to Rachel – not willingly, but by taking part in berating her, by sitting silent while their fellow Glee-clubbers took out their frustration on her. Hell, even his girlfriend did and Rachel did not deserve it.

_Yes, he was dumb_.


	3. Old Friendships Never Die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rachel gets involved with the Puckermans once again, and leaves Noah thinking about all these last years, their relationship and, himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Third chapter is here - Puckelberry centered, with a glimpse of the past. Hope you'll like it !

“Of course, they are getting ready for Valentine’s Day. Schue is a sucker for this holiday, I can understand I suppose? It’s sweet… Yes, I know Kurt, we don’t have Valentines. But who cares? We have each other. Right, I hope you get Blaine… With Mercedes? I’d rather not. I mean, with everything that happened… It’s fine I’ll see you another day, no worries… Finn and Quinn, back together in Sam’s back. Do you buy it? I mean, I guess it was just a matter of time before the Inns got back together… I am fine Kurt… I am sure, yes. We weren’t made for each other… Kurt, I must go, but I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

Rachel was on the phone with her best friend, well her only friend, really and had to stop when more than 20 minutes after her dance class ended, there was still a little girl waiting for ride. Not any little girl. Rebekah Puckerman. Rachel knew Rebekah ever since she was a baby, back in the day when she was still somewhat friends with her brother Noah – it seemed like another life, really. “Bekah sweetheart, what are you still doing out here? I am about to close the dance studio.” Rebekah absolutely loved Rachel, she was nine, and has taken dance classes with Rachel for three years now. Classic and modern jazz, Rachel was like her big sister or something. She tried singing too, but it did not sit well with her, a lot of words to memorize, and the emotion of it all. Rachel sure could ace it, but that is because she was incredibly talented. “I am waiting for my mum, she was supposed to come pick me up after work, but she’s yet to come.” Rachel put her hand on Rebekah’s shoulder and walked with her while she had her phone stuck to her ear.

“Hello, Ms. Puckerman? It’s me, Rachel… Sorry, yes, I mean Deborah. I apologize for interrupting you, but I am here with Rebekah at the community center and she tells me you were supposed to pick her up… I understand completely… I’ll take her home, you still keep a key under the mat, right? It’s my pleasure Deborah. As you say, Noah must still be at practice. Goodbye, Deborah. No rush, I’ll keep an eye on Rebekah until you arrive. My pleasure, Deborah.”

She knew Noah, he wasn’t at practice, it finished early today and he must certainly be with some cheerleader in a closet in high school doing whatever that sexually active teenagers do, Rachel thought. She always had a soft spot for Noah Puckerman. They grew up together, in the same neighborhood, until his deadbeat father decided to leave and his mother was forced to move the entire family to the other side of town, where rent was more affordable. She saw Noah literally break, when his father walked away, Bekah still a baby. That’s why she gave him free passes for all the times he hurt her. That’s why, albeit everything, the slushies, the names, the degrading comments, she kept putting papers and notes in his locker at school. But the day he told her they weren’t friends before, something in her broke. This, she could never forget. Forgive maybe, but never forget.

Her thoughts followed her until she reached the Puckermans and got inside with Rebekah when she heard sounds from upstairs that only meant one thing. Noah had company, and not the kind his sister should know about. “Rebekah, sweetheart, why don’t you go to the kitchen and I’ll fix you some snack. I just need to go grab a book I lent to Noah last month. Alright?”

Rachel took the stairs, expressionless but boiling inside that Noah would bring a girl at his mother’s and would not even answer and leave his sister out in the blue, like that. The moaning was intense out there, she shook three times at his door – just like his mother used to when they were playing as kids and time would come for Rachel to leave. Something in Puck snapped, he pushed Stacey – or was it Stella? – from his lap and went to the door. “Bekah, go away, I’m busy studying with a… friend.” Rachel huffed, exasperated and stomp her foot on the ground on the other side of the door. “ _Puck_ , this is Rachel. I kept your sister at bay downstairs with a snack. I suggest you clean up, send your _friend_ home and join us downstairs. Your mum is going to be here any minute.”

_Berry_? What the hell was she doing in his house and why would she know about her sister’s and mother’s schedule? For a second, his heart swelled that after all those years, they still had a sort of connection. Then his brow furrowed because she had called him Puck. She never did. Then he regrouped, right, he needed to get Sally out of here, without anyone noticing. He sent a text to Rachel.

**[5.19 PM]**

From: Noah Puckerman

_Can u distract Bekah while I sneak Stella outta the house? Cmn down now. Tx._

“Bekah darling, why don’t we go and watch Hannah Montana together in the living room? You can grab your snack with you, I’m sure your mum won’t mind.” As she walked to the living room, she saw Puck slowly going down the stairs motioning to his conquest to be as quiet as quiet can be. A few minutes later, Noah came in the living room as if nothing happened. He plopped on the couch and looked at Rachel looking fondly at Bekah while Bekah was watching this blonde/brunette singer/not-singer show. “Care to explain, Berry?” he asked, nonchalantly.

“Explain what, Noah?” As he was about to answer, Rebekah spoke noticing for the first time that he got in the room: “Oh hello Noah. Rachel drove me back from dance classes after that Mum asked her to do so. Mum was supposed to get me but she something came up at work. So, Rachel offered to do.”

“Why didn’t you call me?” Puck asked, looking at Rachel with an angry look. He was the man of the house, supposed to take care of his sister and mother, or so he thought. “Deborah tried to call you Noah”, Rachel interjected, “but you were apparently at _practice_. That would explain why you are sweaty. Maybe you should think about a shower.”

Puck smirked, he didn’t look ashamed for one bit. He just shrugged his shoulders about to make a dirty comment to Rachel when something struck him: “Wait a minute, how is it that you take dance classes with my sister Berry. You’re that bad? I’ve seen you dance, you’re alright. You shouldn’t stick to 9-year old classes,” He snickered. Rebekah once again answered before Rachel got a chance: “Don’t be ridiculous Noah, Rachel is our teacher.”

_Teacher_? Puck looked astonished. That’s what she’s meant all those years when she said she had dance classes? That she was volunteering at the community center to offer little girls who came from modest background, just like his sister, free dance classes? He always thought all she did was take them, to be a Broadway star or whatever she talks about non-stop. On second thought, he _knew_ Rachel. He grew up with her, and remembered all too well her generosity, her selflessness. He pretended to forget because she was tied to a time where he lived with his two parents, and they lived on the right side of town, with no money problems. But here she was, giving classes to his sister while he was, well, throwing slushies at her. “What the hell? How come it’s the first time I am hearing about this?” Rebekah just shrugged her shoulders, not even granting him an answer.

The reality is that he seldom spoke to her and did not show any interest in her life or his mother’s for that matter. Ever since he turned into a stud, it’s all been about football, popularity, chicks and parties. Lost in his thoughts, he saw Rachel got up from her seat, ready to leave and when he was about to object, his mother came in: “Hello everyone! Sorry for the delay. Rachel thank you so much, you’re a life savior” Deborah said, as she approached the hug the petite brunette. “Hello Noah, I see you got out of practice. Maybe a shower would do you good?”

“Ma” he complained, while kissing her on the cheek. “Well, it’s time for me to leave. Ms. Puckerman, it was my pleasure, really.” Deborah looked at her as if she grew a second head: “Nonsense, I’ll call Hiram and tell him you’re staying for dinner tonight. I’ll cook for everyone, it’ll be fun.”

“Yes, please stay Rachel,” Rebekah pleaded with her. As much as Rachel loved the little girl, she also saw panic in Noah’s eyes at the idea that he would spend an entire dinner with him – and she got it, why would he? Sure, he’d kissed her a couple of times, but that’s only because he was a hormonal teenager and she wore short skirts, but he never liked her. Well he did, in another life. She knew that she needed to spare him. “Deborah, that is lovely but I really need to get going. I still need to work on my homework and it is getting late already. But thank you so much for the invitation.”

“Alright, I am not happy about this, but let’s reschedule, then? It’s been ages you haven’t come around. We don’t get to see as much as we used to. Of course, I see you at the Hospital, Bekah at dance lessons and Noah at school – but it’s not the same, and it’d be so good to catch up, right Noah?” The young man could not answer, there was so much going on in his mind. Instead, Rachel answered on his behalf: “I appreciate the offer Deborah. But, I don’t think Noah would be comfortable with me sitting at your dinner table,” Noah looked at her with imploring eyes. The carapace he’s built during all these years after his father left, cracking down after an unfinished sentence from Rachel freaking Berry.

To answer Deborah’s questioning look, Rachel continued: “We just grew apart Deborah. It happens. Noah is popular, and I am the school freak resident. Anyway, I should get going. Thank you so much for your hospitality, and I’ll see you at the Hospital this weekend, right?” Rachel offered smiling, “and Bekah, sweetheart, work on those _pointes_ , will you?” She hugged the mother and daughter, and waved shyly towards Noah. That’s when he snapped back from his thoughts. “Let me walk you out, Rach.” _Rach_ , here was the nickname he’d given her when they were younger, slipping from his mouth for the first time in more than a decade. He didn’t even notice. She did.

They walked to her car, in silence. “Goodbye Noah.” He took gently her arm before she could get in her car, bore into her brown big eyes, _God, she was beautiful_. It came all flooding back to him. There was a time when he was madly in love with Rachel Berry, and he swore to their Rabbi he’d marry her and spend the rest of his life with her. “Why?” he whispered. Rachel looked at him, there was so many answers to that. He needed to be more precise. “Why what, Noah?” she said. “First, why do you see my mum on weekends at the Hospital?” Rachel scoffed/ “Not that you care, but I’ve been volunteering there for almost five years now, jamming a bit with the kids undergoing treatment there.” He nodded.

_How on earth did his mother and his sister still have ties, arguably good ties, with Rachel Berry, for years, while he had no idea, not even when they dated during that week_. “Can I leave, now?” she said, trying to untangle her arm from his hand. “Why didn’t you tell my mother, about us, about us not being friends anymore, about me doing well, what I did to you all these years, if you were still seeing her?” She could’ve. But he knew Rachel Berry and did not consider, for even a second, that she would tell. But he needed to know why.

Rachel exhaled. “Because Deborah doesn’t deserve to have her heart broken more than it already is.” That sentence hit home. His grip on her forearm slightly weakened and that was enough for her to get out of his hold and jump in her car.

That night, he was restless. Rachel had said something horrible to him, with a look that showed all the hate she had for him. No, it was not hate. It was worse, it was pity. He blocked all memories of her the day they left their old house and he decided to become a badass. He spent so many years denying it, that we almost believed he didn’t know Rachel Berry. But he did. And more importantly, she did not know him. His qualities, his flaws, his family as well. During his sleep, he relived all those moments when he slushied her, called her names, helped the cheerios in their pranks to humiliate her.

The last thing he remembers was one their last interactions. “I am sorry your father left, Noah. He is a jerk. Daddy says it means stupid, only worse.” Noah was hurting so much, he did not see the tenderness in Rachel’s eyes and moves that day, he only resented her for having two Dads, while he had none. He sent her a dirty look. She recoiled but then said: “You know, I have two fathers, Dad and Daddy and they love you so much Noah. I’d love to share them with you.” Noah snapped. He was angry at everyone and took it on the person who deserved it the least: “You can keep your fathers to yourself, Berry. They’re just faggots.”

Noah woke up distraught. He had buried that memory down, he was not even sure if he actually said that. Of course, he had. It was the last time Rachel showed any interest in him. Even that week of dating was mainly about making out, she did not care about him last year, that’s why it had been so easy for her to break up with him. Then, he remembered that she also told him he was a “jerk” – the same word she had used to define his deadbeat father. It was only 6 AM. He decided to go for a run and go early to school so that he could talk to Rachel.

At school, he went to her locker and waited for a bit – which both Finn and Sam noticed. Then he began roaming around the hallways in search for her, when he passed by the auditorium and heard a voice: _“And I am telling you, I’m not going, you’re the best man I’ve ever known…_ ” It was Rachel, at the piano, she had gotten so much better than their kids days when he would beg her to stop playing. She never did. She was just stubborn like that, he remembered fondly.

He sat behind, unable to move. He had heard that song before when Jones sang it and sure the girl had pipes. But what she did not have was _raw emotion_ , the ability to send shivers down your spine without wailing notes. Rachel’s version was a genius balance of fragility, delicacy and smoothness. Puck had not witnessed Sam and Finn followed him and sat next to him, as dumbfounded as he was. When she was done, Finn broke into applause, betraying their location.

Rachel was startled and then she saw the three boys approaching, Finn with an awestruck look on his face, Noah his hands in his pocket, lost in thoughts and Sam genuinely smiling at her. “Good morning, boys. I am sorry, was Glee club supposed to meet in the auditorium? I’ll get out of your way. Have a good a day” she quickly said, her music sheets under her arm.

“Rachel, wait!” It was Finn. She stopped and turned to him, smiling. _Of course, she would turn for Hudson, I am so sick of it_ , Puck thought. “Rachel, you were exceptional out there. I mean, who knew you could play the piano?” Puck was quick to answer: “I did.” Rachel shot him a mysterious look. “But, your voice, your poise. I mean, Rachel, you had Mercedes sing this song in front of everyone last year, let her take it from you, and didn’t say a word while your rendition is just, well, a whole different level. Why?”

“Maybe because I am not as conceited and selfish as you thought I was? Anyway, it doesn’t matter anymore. Mercedes has an exceptional voice, she’s as good as I am, and you’ll do wonders together. All of you. Now, if you’ll excuse me.” As she was aiming for the exit, Puck called: “Rach, can I talk to you?” Finn looked at him angrily while Sam was a bit, uncomfortable, he wanted to apologize to Rachel and then blurted: “Rachel, I also need to talk to you.”

Puck looked weirdly at Sam, not understanding what he would have to tell Rachel. “As I said, I have to run. I have homeroom. Samuel, I’ll talk to you later today. Finn. Noah.” She left them, alone. Finn, not sure what to make of their exchange, Puck enraged that she would speak to Trouty Mouth and not give him the time of the day. He shot his phone from his pocket, and texted angrily:

**[8.27 AM]**

To: Crazy Berry

_Da hell? U’d speak to Trouty but not to me? U serious?_

**[8.29 AM]**

From: Crazy Berry

 _Noah, must you be so gross in writing to me? I do not own you anything. But I’ll talk to you sure, you know I always will, because even if you’d like to forget about, we were in fact, friends before_.

He recognized Rachel in that little dig she threw at him. At least, she would talk to him. They had so much to unwrap. As he and Sam were walking out, Finn asked them: “what was this about? Since when do you guys speak to Rachel? You used to throw slushies at her and you barely know her.” Sam looked at him and mumbled: “We have a class in common, needed her notes” while Puck, more confident: “why do you care? You broke up with her in the nastiest possible way? You’re a tool, Hudson.”

Finn was left in the auditorium, alone, taken aback by Rachel’s attitude towards him and by his friends’ attitude towards him and _his_ Rachel. He was jealous. Sure, he was seeing Quinn on the side, it was still a secret, but if Rachel showed any sign she wanted him back, he’d come back running.


	4. Taking Responsibility

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rachel and Noah have the talk, a painful talk that needed to happen. Angsty chapter where Rachel and Noah both show they can be emotional messes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New installment of this Glee fanfiction, I hope you like it. Reviews are more than welcome and I always take them into account. Please don't hesitate :-) !

“Noah Puckerman, tall, dark and broody Noah Puckerman wants to talk to you? And he’s coming here to Lima Bean, in fifteen minutes to talk? Do you think he wants to get back together?” Kurt asked, incredulously. He was a sucker for drama, gossips and romance. He did not particularly think Puckleberry was a match made in heaven, but if it would make Rachel happy, why not give it a go. Puck was a good guy at heart, he was just wounded.

“I don’t want to get back with him, for starters. We’re not good for each other. Plus, he is seeing cheerleader Shirley Manning. I caught them yesterday when they were physically expressing their love to each other. Or lust. Anyway, no, I think he wants to talk about the past.” Kurt looked at her expecting her to elaborate, Rachel knew she would not avoid his hunger for gossip. “I’ll explain in detail later, but essentially, Noah and I know each other since we were kids, and we used to be friends, a long time ago. I guess he wants to go over that again, now, for some reason.”

All this was new to Kurt, Rachel and Puck, _friends_? Puck could be friends with a girl without wanting into her pants? He couldn’t fathom that. As he was about to speak, he heard the bell door of the café, and a few second later, there was Puck standing beside him. “What’s up Hummel? Long time no see. All good at your prep boy school?”

“Hello to you, as well Puck. Good to see you. And goodbye now. I’ll leave you two alone.” As Kurt exited, Noah bored into Rachel’s brown eyes and softly whispered: “Hi, Rachel. Thanks for seeing me, and sorry for the text. I…”

“It’s fine Noah, don’t sweat it. You know me well enough to figure out I wouldn’t say no to you,” she said to him with a soft smile. “Even though I am the only one, I’ve always cherished our friendship. I guess it makes sense as it only existed for me, right?”

There it was. Puck knew better than hoping that Rachel would engage in small talk, in chitchat. No, that was Rachel Berry for you, cutting to the chase. Probably because she did not want to spend too much time with him. This idea made him sad. “Let me just grab something before I answer to that. Do you want anything?” She shook her head, good with her hot tea.

Puck had three minutes to gather his thoughts and figure out what he would tell Rachel. He did not fully understand why the sudden need to get closer to her, to make amends washed over him yesterday, but it did. Was it the fact that she was still so close to his mother and his sister – closer to them than he was himself? Or was it because of what she’d told him about his mother’s heart? Or maybe it was her leaving the Glee club, breaking the last tether that existed between them? Sure, he could go back to slushies to recreate a tether of some sort, but for some reason, he figured it was a bad idea.

“Rach – I want to tell you how much I am sorry, really.”

“For what exactly Noah?” Rachel asked, trying to keep the venom in her voice to a minimum. But she forgot Puck knew her, he kept that intimate knowledge of her of the days when she was a kid and she did not have any walls or carapace to hide behind. She couldn’t fool him.

“God, Rachel. Everything, everything you could think of, and probably more. First, for the way I treated you all these years. I… It is inexcusable, but I’ll try to do my best to explain. You know I’m not good with feelings and shit.”

“I do, but I appreciate the effort, Noah”, Rachel encouraged him with a small smile. She was pleasantly surprised Noah would trust her enough, even after all those years, to tell her what went on his mind.

“I was broken, when my father left. You got to see it, to suffer from it firsthand. I had so much anger in me. I tried to wipe it away by becoming popular, successful in a way, so that I could prove to myself that I could exist without him. There was the thing, seeing you around, was reminding me of my old life. Apart from my mum and Bekah, you were the only thing, the only one actually reminding me of that life. Because we were so close. So, I pushed you away, and then the first slushy came. The first one I’ll always remember. It’s the only time I dared to dart into your eyes, I saw the hurt, I could clearly distinguish between your tears and the slushy on your face. It sent shivers down my spine. After that, I would always look away, because I couldn’t stand it. I had blocked everything out, and your eyes would remind me of everything. I couldn’t stand it.”

“I’m confused. So, hurting me, was making you feel better?” Rachel asked, not sure what to make of Noah’s revelation. It was not very healthy, although she could understand. He couldn’t hurt – at least not consciously – his family, the only one that stuck with him, but still needed to get the anger, the hurt, out and he did with her. She reminded him of his old self, the one he did not accept.

“It’s not like that, Rachel. I don’t know why I did it. It was weirdly making me feel better. Through slushying you, I was actually slushying that little boy who was stupid enough to believe that his father loved him and would stick around. Also, I was jealous because you had two dads. Two of them, and I had none. I was a kid and did not realize back then, that I should’ve taken you up on that offer. Leeroy and Hiram are amazing guys. Every time I see them at the store or around town, they smile at me and always ask me about Bekah and Ma. They always extend an invitation for dinner warmly.” Puck took his palms to his face, ashamed of what he’d said, of that memory that crept back into his sleep last night and made him wake up distraught. “God, they have no idea about the horrible things I said about them, how awful…”

“They do, Noah.” As Rachel finished her sentence, Puck was frantic, he looked at her with bulged eye, his mouth wide open. Shocked. He was an idiot, of course Rachel would tell them. She must’ve told them about everything, and yet, they were being nice to him? The thought alone that they knew what was going down between their daughter and himself and that yet, they treated him with kindness, it killed him.

“Did you tell them about the rest… About everything else I did?” Puck asked, knowing already the answer.

“I did not, I didn’t say anything. I didn’t even tell them what you said about them that day when we were sitting on my porch. The window was open that day Noah, and Daddy heard you call them… well, what you called them. They were heartbroken, naturally. But that is the thing with parents, they never cease to be – and my Dads never ceased to be parents to you, even if you did not want them to.”

Puck looked at her as if she turned crazy. “What are you talking about, Berry?”

Rachel exhaled, she had said too much already and she knew that Noah was persistent, he would get the truth out of him, eventually. “I am not supposed to tell you that, and if my parents or Deborah know I told you, they’ll kill me. But when your father left, Dad, Daddy and Deborah went to Rabbi Greenberg, and my fathers solemnly swore they would help and support your family as much as they could. And they did. In silence. They knew what you thought of them, and understood what you were going through. So, they kept at bay, but never stopped helping Deborah. The PlayStation for your twelfth birthday? Your truck when you turned sixteen? Your guitar lessons? My father chipped in. You know Deborah, it was not easy convincing her that we’d stick by her side. But you also know my Daddy – or at least you used to – it’s him I take my stubbornness from. When you got in juvie, Dad took on your case _pro bono_ at his firm, and bailed you out. They just decided, with your mother, to keep you out of this. But, truly, they never ceased to be your fathers, too.”

There weren’t many times in life where Noah Puckerman was speechless. But this was one of them. Rachel had laid on them a truth he did not know how to cope with. He left tears streaming down his face, as he was trying to process everything he has just learned. Two men he outright insulted on their porch, out of hurt, had helped him and his family all these years. They knew what he’d said about them, and yet, they were by his side in silence, not claiming anything, not asking for anything. In return, he tormented, bullied and trashed the entire wardrobe of their unique daughter. Guilt, remorse, washed over him. He didn’t deserve them. He didn’t deserve Rachel. How could he? “How long have you known? Why didn’t you say anything?” He said, his voice barely above a whisper.

“I’ve known for quite a long time now and I couldn’t tell you anything. Before Glee Club, we weren’t exactly on speaking terms. Plus, Dad and Daddy didn’t want you to feel indebted to them. They did it because they love your mother, and well, they love you and Bekah. Deborah would always ask me how things were at high school and how we were doing. I’d remain evasive, but yesterday, when she invited me for dinner, and I saw the disgust in your look, I knew I had to come clean. Not on everything, but on the fact, that well, we weren’t exactly seeing eye to eye.”

He took her hand, her tiny hands – everything about her was cutely tiny. “Rach, you don’t have anything to apologize for. I have been so unfair to you, and your fathers. How can they forgive me? How can _you_ forgive me? I don’t deserve it. You should hate me. I hate myself right now, to be honest. Also, you read it all wrong yesterday. I didn’t have that look because I was disgusted, but because I was frightened. Legit, frightened. I had never told Ma that we were not speaking. She would ask me and I’d remain evasive, because I knew if I told her, it would be real…”

“It was real Noah, it _is_ real. Apart from that week during which we dated, if we can call that dating, it was more making out, really. But, you can’t deny that it was real.”

“I know, Rachel. I’ve been there. But I didn’t want it to be real, and having Ma believe that we still were sort of friends, unconsciously, I guess it just maintained the possibility of us getting back to each other, real. In a way. I’m fucked up. I’m not sure it even makes sense.”

“You do”, Rachel answered quietly. She understood where he was coming from, it is almost as if he was trying to maintain the perception his mother had of him, more or less intact. Of course, that stunt in juvie damaged that but it could be put on the count of the whole Baby gate. That is precisely what she meant yesterday when she referred to his mother’s heart. “I can understand, I think. That’s exactly why I told you yesterday I wanted to spare your mother’s heart. She suffered Noah, a lot. When her father left, she kept it together for you guys, mainly, but she was destroyed. I remember her crying her eyes out at mine with Daddy – you know how close they were. Then she’d go back to you and act as if nothing. She started picking up more shifts at the Hospital to make ends meet, for you again, guys. She is a mother, an incredible one Noah, and she could not let anything get in the way of your well-being.”

“Where are you getting at, Berry?” Puck asked, with a bit of aggressiveness he immediately regretted. He just wondered how, on earth, after all these years, Rachel could anticipate his questions and reactions, and it added a layer of guilt and regret, to how he had let go of a friend like her – his first love, even though he’d never confessed his love to her. A badass doesn’t do such things, even if this whole discussion did have a toll on his badassness, arguably.

“I am getting there. In the process, Deborah lost a bit track of you had become. She had no idea because she was so busy with everything else. She saw you still hanging out with Finn, happy at football and having lots of friends. She supposed you were happy, and were still the little boy she raised and loved. I like to think that that little boy is still there. He’s the one who allows me to still call him Noah after all these years. So yes, I couldn’t break Deborah’s heart by telling her that her son had become a bully that would slushy his former best friend. I couldn’t possibly let her know that her son had gone as far as helping the cheerios trash my car, twice in a year. How could I? She’d gone through so much. To suffer in silence of your attacks on me was the least I could do for her. She’s always been the best to me.”

Rachel could not help the resentment dripping from her words as she told him the truth. She took her hand of his hold and looked at him as he was processing. She knew that they’d have this conversation sooner or later, and she knew it would shake him. Funny it took for her to leave Glee and for his mother to ask her for help with Bekah, for him to realize. He had stopped crying, but his face showed all the emotions he was experiencing, hurt, guilt, shame.

“Rachel, I don’t know what to say. I feel like the worst individual on Earth right now. I am, probably. You’re right, Ma would be so disappointed in me if she knew, so ashamed in the man I’ve become. The way I treated you, I treated your family. The way you treated me with kindness in spite of it all, I didn’t deserve it. I still don’t deserve it. The reality is that you’re the only friend I ever had. Sure, I hang out with a lot of folks, but they don’t know me. They don’t get me. Not the way you do. I want to make it up to you, Rach. Or at least, try. I’ll try for all my life, and it won’t be enough. I know it won’t. But will you please let me try?”

Noah was determined to make this work, to get back Rachel as a friend – at least – and begin to get back right on track after years of being a fuck-up. However, his heart sank to his belly when he saw the sad smile on her face and the slow shake of her head. She chuckled, with sadness. “You can’t imagine how long I waited for you to say that. But, it’s too late. All that happened between us, I cannot forget it.”

Puck was frantic, he needed that. He’d probably go mad if she didn’t give him a second chance. “Rach, please. I know I did and said horrible things, but I want to change. I want to prove to you I can be _Noah_ again. Just Noah. Your friend, Noah.”

“You said we weren’t friends before, Noah. That broke my heart, but that isn’t all”, she said before he could answer. “But even before then, the real reason I broke up with you when we dated that week, wasn’t for Finn or anyone else. Do you remember when I cleaned you up after you got slushied?” He nodded. “I told you I forgave you. I meant it then and I mean it now. I do forgive you. But later that day, I realized I couldn’t forget. Not that easily. You were outright mean, cruel, for no reason. _Ru-Paul Berry, you should ask your lady-fathers to get you somewhere where they could change your personality from A to Z_. Do you remember that?”

Puck looked at her, questioningly. He had absolutely no idea what she was talking about. “Of course, you don’t. It is one of the numerous charming comments you left on one of my MySpace videos. I can’t forget that, neither the words, nor the pranks, the slushies, the humiliation. You were feeling better about yourself by belittling me, humiliating me. I can’t pretend this didn’t happen, and just go back to when we were kids. We’re not kids anymore, Noah. We’re young adults, and in adulthood, you bear responsibility for your actions and words. I am happy for us to be cordial with another, and I am happy we were able to have this chat, but I am not my fathers. They would welcome you with open arms, but I won’t. I cannot. Sorry.”

“Rachel, please, I’ll beg you if I have to, but you, being indifferent to me, cordial or whatever the hell you mean? It kills me. Please, give me a second chance,” he implored her. He didn’t know he would see so much hate, so much resentment in her eyes, in her entire demeanor. It’s unsettling how she can make peace with someone and leave them completely distraught. He wasn’t sure he was able to breathe throughout her speech. He didn’t know how to convince her.”

“You said it yourself, you don’t deserve it. You’re right, Noah. You don’t deserve me. Goodbye, Noah,” she concluded before getting up from the couch and heading to the exit, not giving Puck a chance to argue his case. As she was heading to her car, she couldn’t help shedding a few tears which did not go unnoticed by one Sam Evans who was getting into Lima Bean at the same time she was getting out. He took her arm, “Rachel, are you okay?” He did not show it, and did not even admit it to himself, but he was worried sick. “I am fine Samuel, I must leave now, if you’ll excuse me. But I’ll see you tomorrow? The desk informed me of your wish to see a speech therapist. That’s great. I’ll have everything set up tomorrow. Good evening, Samuel.”

Sam saw Rachel glance one last look to the man sitting behind him, Noah Puckerman. They had talked, and from Rachel’s eyes and Noah’s hunched shoulders, it hadn’t gone well. Sam rushed to the table where Puck was seated, sat in front of him and fired. “What the hell did you do?”


	5. Babt Steps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rachel and Sam have a moment after tutoring and after Sam finds out that Quinn was cheating on him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yet another installment of this story, your comments keep me going - don't hesitate to leave more and I hope enjoy this chapter !

_“What the hell did you do?”_

Puck looked at Sam with narrowed eyes, the blonde dude had never showed any interest in Rachel, why was he all of a sudden worried about what went on between him and Rachel? “Why do you care, you barely know Rachel.” It was true, Sam had just arrived and his girlfriend painted him the picture of a selfish self-centered brat that was not worth getting to know. One study session with her had proven him wrong. There was something intriguing about her, she could be very sweet, kind, generous, caring and at the same unapologetically determined, focused. She was an excellent actress, she’d be hurt but would also see glimpse of that hurt before composing herself back and plastering her signature smile. Sam had not even realized he noticed all those things about Rachel, not to mention he actually liked them. “I just saw her getting out of her crying, and I see you here, almost crying too.”

Puck went on telling him about everything, how Rachel and he were best friends when they were kids, how he messed it up because of his messed-up feelings about his own father, how her fathers stayed in his corner despite everything, how he threw the first slushie at her, how he wanted to reconnect with her, how she said she forgave him but could not forget and would not welcome him back with open arms, how she told him he did not deserve her. Sam listened carefully and was in awe of how articulate Rachel had been through it all, and how much guilt she could trigger in someone – especially someone like Puck, who isn’t known for doing feelings – by just treating them with kindness and wearing her heart on her sleeve, letting everyone know how she felt in a very natural way. “Well, she is right dude. I am even surprised she agreed to talk to you in the first place.”

“Sam, I know she is right. I don’t even know what came onto me to try and suggest we could go back to where we were. I lost her, and it is all my fault. But seeing her with Ma yesterday, it did something to my insides, it brought me back to when I was kid and Rachel and I would spend all our days together at hers or mine. We just blend so well, at least, we used to.”

“Do you have feelings for Rachel?” For some reason, Sam asked the question but was not entirely genuine about it, he feared Puck’s answer. He didn’t know why. _Probably because Rachel belongs with his friend Finn, and Puck doesn’t relationships, he would only break Rachel’s heart. Yes, that’s why_.

“I don’t know? Maybe. I don’t know. Honestly, there was a time where I saw myself with her, but I was barely 10. So, it could just be a reminiscence of childhood. I just know I want her by my side. But, I could very well have feelings for her, yes. I mean, look at her, look at how she handles herself, at how beautiful she is. Who wouldn’t have feelings for her?”

The question was rhetorical, so Sam thought he’d better leave it unanswered. It was clear that Puck was confused about his feelings for Rachel, but something was quite telling, he called her _beautiful_ , not “hot” as he would refer to any other girl, but _beautiful_. That’s what Sam thought of Quinn, that she was beautiful – and he loved Quinn. But there was no denying that Rachel Berry was beautiful, in a way that is so… Rachel Berry. Of course, she had those endless legs, every guy noticed that about her, she had those chestnut locks that circled her face, and her big brown eyes, he got lost in them already more than once when she was tutoring him. Not to mention her voice, when Rachel sings, there is nothing anymore happening in the world – it is as if the planet stopped for her solo. _Can it Evans, you’re with Quinn Fabray, beautiful, head cheerleader Quinn Fabray_.

“Rachel said something about taking responsibility. She thinks I have by letting her go. But, I’m not done yet. I have an idea,” Puck said, trying to make sense of Rachel’s word on responsibility and adulthood. “I gotta run Evans, but thanks for listening. Oh, and remember, you have Quinn to worry about. She’d lose it if she lost another boyfriend to Rachel Berry,” he said, winking. Before Sam could say anything, Puck had already left the café leaving Sam dumbfounded by his friend’s last joke at him – _it was a joke, right_?

The next day at school, Sam was looking forward to a good day. It started with him peeking into the auditorium to hear Rachel sing her heart out on “Total Eclipse of the Heart.” It filled his heart and mind with good vibes. However, that did not last for long. The rumors about Quinn cheating on him were insistent over the last few days, but he had decided to ignore it, he had given a promise ring to Quinn, this sure meant something. It had to. Until it did not. Apparently, Mercedes had seen Finn and Quinn making out in the auditorium. When he decided to confront Finn, he denied it with a smug look on his face – the very same Finn that he saw earlier in the day pinning over Rachel Berry in the hallways. _Hypocrite_. Yet, Quinn was not as good of a liar.

“Who told you? Was it RuPaul?” Sam snapped at his (ex-?)girlfriend insulting Rachel and what did Rachel have to do with that anyway. “Her name is Rachel, and I’ll have you know she is a very sweet girl. No, it wasn’t her. Everyone is talking about it. Everyone. Don’t play dumb with me. I know you, Quinn. Finn is Quarterback again, he’s won the big game, he is a lock for Prom King and you want that crown and are ready for everything to get it, including throwing me under the bus.”

Quinn did not answer to that, she at least had the decency to look ashamed. “I loved you Quinn. I really did. Not for your popularity, but for you.” He was heartbroken, but needed to regroup fast. He had tutoring session with Rachel and it would be the first step towards really turning his academic record around. As he was entering the tutoring center, he saw Rachel in a conversation with Tina – he did not know these two were on speaking terms. Maybe she still cared about Glee Club and would decide to come back? He hoped so. The reality is that the club was slowly losing his drive. Rachel Berry was its main drive, and now that she’s gone – well, that was it.

“Good day to you Samuel,” she said with a soft smile and a soothing hand on forearm. As she touched him, he felt electricity on his arm and shivers up to his shoulders. He thought it was some physical reaction – maybe he should ask Rachel about it later, she was an ace at physics as well. “Mr. Robson is here for your first session. I’ll sit on the side of course, and will assist as much as I can. But today, it’ll be mostly you both doing the heavy lifting.” She then guided him to the small study room where a tall middle-aged man was awaiting, sited in his chair.

That session was longer than the previous one and was particularly heard. Sam had to focus every minute of it, but he had begun to understand the nature and extent of his disability and Mr. Robson was great at providing him with tips to overcome his difficulties. The speech therapist had given him exercises to do every day before going to bed, and had asked Rachel to monitor his progress and provide the both of them with feedback. “Sam, this first session was very beneficial. I think we are going to overcome this, together. I have faith. I’ll see once every two weeks, I think it should be sufficient. In the meantime, Rachel here will alert me if she thinks we should revisit this arrangement. Don’t worry, Rachel and I helped another student with comparable problems, and they are now in great shape. I think they stopped tutoring a couple of weeks earlier, actually. Isn’t it right Rachel.” She nodded. As Mr. Robson left the room, Rachel walked towards Sam and patted his back in encouragement.

“We are going to get there Samuel, not to worry. You were fantastic today. I am proud of you.” Sam felt exhausted, he was an emotional mess and Rachel’s words were just too much. The trust she put in him, the belief that he could overcome this, _I don’t deserve it_ , he thought. The efforts she displayed to help him, while he barely spoke to her before. _I don’t deserve it_. That sentence from his discussion the day before with Puck didn’t leave him. All of a sudden, he burst into tears right before his tutor.

“Samuel, I am incredibly sorry for what happened with Quinn,” Rachel said, as she couldn’t help but feel compassion for the blonde athlete that was sitting there, and that done right by his girlfriend, every step of the way. She felt the urge to do something for him, so she blurted the next words without thinking: “Samuel, do you want to talk about it?”

He shot his head back to her, looking at her through his tears. Here was this petite brunette, extending a hand to him – both metaphorically and physically as she took his hand into hers or rather the opposite seeing the differences in size. “Rachel, you don’t have to do this, I mean…” She cut him waving her other hand before his face. “I want to, it’s been a hard day for you and we all need support. You cannot turn to Finn for obvious reasons, and Noah, well, I am not sure he would be the best to dissect this. Well, there is Michael obviously or Artie – but I thought that maybe…” Rachel stopped rambling when she saw Sam laugh quietly between two sobs. “It’s fine, Rachel. Thank you, for the support.”

“It’s my pleasure, Samuel. Why don’t you go freshen up a bit – and let’s meet in ten minutes by Lima Bean. Not inside though, I’ll take you somewhere else.” He nodded and went to the bathroom where he saw Finn washing his hands. Finn couldn’t look him in the eyes, he saw Sam’s puffy red eyes and part of him felt guilty to make his friend go through heartbreak. He had given in Quinn’s shenanigans because he thought it would make him stop hurting about his break up with Rachel and her leaving the Glee Club. As he tried to approach Sam, the blonde shot back: “Save it. We have nothing to say to each other. I don’t have time anyway, Rachel is expecting me.”

_Rachel_. Finn was dumbfounded, angry and jealous. He didn’t know why Rachel would be waiting on Sam, they were not friends, they were barely on speaking terms. Why was Sam getting to spend time with Rachel, and not him? Rachel was his. They were _it_ , and this period was just a detour before find their way back to each other. _Unless?_ No, Rachel was not moving on, she couldn’t be. She loved him, he could see the longing in her eyes when he went to talk to her that morning after she saw him making out with Quinn in the auditorium. He saw the hurt, she was heartbroken that he’d moved on with someone else. That must’ve meant something. Surely.

Later that day, Sam was nearby a small river, sitting on a green grass with Rachel Berry by his side. He’d never been in that side of town, and it was gorgeous. No wonder Rachel liked hanging out here. However, he did not know why she brought him here. “Rachel, what are we doing here?”

“This is my safe heaven, my secret place. Each time I feel distraught or upset or sad, I come here to reflect, to take a leap out of reality. The surroundings are just breathtaking, and I like to feel like I am just a tiny piece in a bigger, wider world – granted that _yes_ , I am tiny as Noah always told me when I was younger. But yes, I wanted to share that with you and I thought it would do you good. The fresh air, the river, the green grass…”

“Rachel, why are you so nice to me? I mean, I’ve been awful to you, sat idle when the others were tearing you apart at Glee Club, believed Quinn and everything she told me about you. I didn’t give you a chance – and for that I am truly sorry. But, why are you so nice to me?” _I don’t deserve you_ , he wanted to add but that would be going too far by the Puckerman’s Playbook.

“Because I wish someone was there for me when I needed it. That is as simple as it is. And because you and I, are, at core, we’re the two sides of the same coin. Me, the eternal outcast, the outcast who will never fit in, and you, the new kid doing his best to fit in.”

He was shocked at her words, at how she was able to read right through him with such ease and sum up the struggle of his life, in a phrase – not even a sentence. “That was quite an analysis Miss Berry,” he said chuckling. “But more seriously Rachel, thank you. It is nice to have someone around, and I wanted to say I am sorry for erasing your phone number, it’s just… I…”

“Quinn,” Rachel finished for him. “I understand, she was your girlfriend. You had no reasons to believe her when she was telling you I was horrible. Maybe she was right. But what I want to tell you Samuel, is that you did nothing wrong, absolutely nothing. You were faithful to Quinn, you tended to her needs, you were caring and loving, considerate, thoughtful. I could see you when we were in Glee Club together. And that promise ring thing for which everyone berated you? Well, I actually thought it was really cute. This is not your fault. Finn and Quinn tend to gravitate towards each other, and systematically bring the worst in each other. It’ll probably end up in another dramatic breakup involving me moving on with someone else, Finn not willing to let go of me and henceforth losing interest in Quinn and pursuing me. But as I told him, I’m done with that. I’m worth better than him and his confidence issues. I know what’s going in your mind right now, I have been there, and let me tell you this. You are good enough. More than good enough, Samuel.”

There it was again, the confidence, the trust in him. In very simple words, which wasn’t exactly Rachel Berry. But, there he had it, the confidence boost. He understood more and more why Puck wanted her around, she is everything you could ask for in a friend. Kind, considerate, nurturing and incredibly smart. She had understood his qualms and doubts in a heartbeat and had found the right words within the same heartbeat. “God, Rachel, how is it that every time you speak, you know exactly what to say to calm someone’s doubts and thoughts?”

“Dad is a therapist, maybe I got that from him, who knows? Anyway, I am happy you feel better, at least slightly better. Don’t worry, this is our little secret, I won’t mention it to anyone else. You’ll be able to go back to your popular jock life tomorrow and our worlds will only collide for tutoring, Samuel.” Sam looked at her with hurt and anger in his eyes. It had been a long day, so he could snap at her without too much risk.

“Rachel, what’s about this? It’s the second time you’re saying this to me. Enough already. Am I that much of a jerk for you to think I’d be ashamed to be seen with you? I don’t care. You hear that? I don’t care. Hell, I’ll tell everyone we’re friends and own to it, because you are one amazing friend. The rests are idiots. So, no more of that? Okay. Oh, and since we’re friends, can you please just call me _Sam_. Only my grandma calls me Samuel.”

“My apologies _Sam_ , it is just that I know how much damage I can do for a reputation. I mean, that’s probably why my ex was so adamant that the rest of the school doesn’t see us together.”

“Your ex is a douche, and I’m not your ex, Rachel.” As he said these words, he felt his belly tighten. He would never want to be an _ex_ anything to Rachel. They were friends now, and he would not mess it up like Puck did. He would remain a good, loyal friend to Rachel. _Maybe even more than a friend?_ This thought flew by his mind for half a second, before she spoke again.

“In the name of this newly found friendship, I must be honest with you. Mercedes is not the one who found about Quinn and Finn. I did. I saw them in the auditorium earlier today when I was rehearsing. I just, I couldn’t gather the courage to tell you. So, I spoke to Mercedes and Kurt, and they came up with this rumor plan. I am incredibly sorry, Samuel – sorry, _Sam_. I am. I should have told you. But, I couldn’t,” Rachel’s tone in saying this was full of sincerity, he could feel the pain she felt on his behalf, and the confusion, the same washing over her and her antics with respect to the truth.

He looked at her with all the intensity his eyes could muster. “Why?” he whispered, “Why didn’t you tell me?” He could forgive her, he had forgiven her the second she said the truth with so much softness in her voice. “Because I did not want to be the one to break your heart.”

As she said those words, Sam’s eyes could not look anywhere but at her lips, her pulp red kissable lips, and couldn’t think about anything else but her voice and the words swirling around him. _I did not want to be the one to break your heart_. It sounded even more beautiful that when she was singing, and that said something. His brain had stopped working fully, that is the only reason, the unique reason why he moved his head so that his lips were on hers.

_An explosion_. That is what it was. She had lived fireworks with Finn, he had felt small butterflies with Quinn, but nothing compared to the explosion they both felt when their lips touched. _Trouty maybe, but soft and expert lips_ Rachel thought. None of them deepened the kiss, they were just content in the gentleness of the kiss, in conveying the tenderness they were feeling for each other at that moment.

She was the first one to break the kiss. “Sam, we’d better stop. You _just_ broke up with Quinn. And I am still getting over Finn…”

Sam said nothing and just headed to the car, Rachel behind him. She could feel the anger course through his veins, but decided it would be better to remain quiet.

_Finn, why did it always have to go back to that blithering idiot?_


	6. Welcome Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Sam, Rachel has a moment with Noah. This doesn't go unnoticed by Sam. Misunderstandings, angst and drama for this new chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter in this fanfiction -- thank you to all of you who read, commented, subscribed, bookmarked, kudosed and expressed their views. It means a lot, it really helps going with the writing :)

Sam had driven Rachel back to her place in an uncomfortable silence at first, then she spoke: “Sam, I am sorry I said what I said about Finn, I know he is a sensitive topic at the moment, but I know better than to jump in another relationship right away after a breakup. Although I am not getting back with him. Ever. Please, give me time? I like having you around, I _need_ you around, as my friend. I don’t have too many of those. But, for the record, I do like you, Sam Evans.” He couldn’t resist to that, how could he possibly? At heart, Rachel was just like him, sensitive, emotional and wearing her heart on her sleeve, very transparent on what she felt. He smiled at her, before nodding.

“I understand where you come from. I’ll be around, Rachel. And for the record, that kiss meant something, and it was… wow.” As he made the last turn to her house, he saw a familiar truck in the driveway. _What the hell was Puck doing her_? Then he remembered their conversation, how Puck had told him he might still have lingering feelings for Rachel, how her fathers knew him and loved him despite all, how they used to be best friends and how they knew each other. He was probably there to talk to her, to win her back. This thought alone made Sam’s heart sink and his blood boil in anger. It had been just a kiss but he knew, the moment it happened, that he would cling to Rachel for as long as she’d let him. It wasn’t the kiss only or her looks only – granted she was gorgeous – but it was the way she saw the best in people, the way she had trust in him and pushed him to improve and even assisted him, selflessly. He couldn’t say it enough, but the Glee Club was so wrong about her.

He saw her shifting uncomfortably in the passenger seat, she had recognized the truck too. How could she not? “Do you want me to come with you, Rachel? I saw how distraught you were when you left the café the other day, you don’t have to face him if you don’t want to.” She shook her head, exhaling in defeat: “Not to worry, knowing Noah, he’s already inside, crawling on the ground for my fathers to forgive him, and it took them maximum thirty seconds to take him back, too content to rekindle with their long-lost son.” She laughed at how dramatic she sounded, and Sam couldn’t help but follow suits. Her laugh was contagious, this girl was really something else. And he would fight for her. She kissed him on the cheek before hopping off the car, and it took him at least a minute to recover from the feeling this had caused in him. It must have been the sweetness of it all.

As she entered, she could hear Noah and her fathers talking about football, they always had that in common. “Oh, Sweetie you’re home! We were getting worried,” Leeroy told her, hugging her tightly. “Hi Daddy, sorry, I should’ve called. I was with a friend, Samuel, he was not feeling well today and I went to cheer him up.” Puck looked at her questioningly, _since when have Trouty and Rachel become friends and why the hell did it bother him so much_? He decided to brush it off, he didn’t come here for that. “Look, honey, we have visit. Noah has come over. Isn’t a nice surprise? We missed him so much,” gushed Hiram, her Dad.

“Well, I do see him every day at school. But, hello Noah, it’s good to see you,” she said, politely. Puck smiled and waved at her, still feeling the distance between them. It was all his fault, and his was here to fix this. “Hiram, Leeroy, I actually came for a reason, and I was waiting for Rachel to come, because I needed her to hear that as well.”

Hiram’s hand went to his heart. “Is something wrong with you, Bekah or Deborah, Noah?” Puck put his hand in front of him in a reassuring gesture. “Nothing to worry about Hiram, we’re good”, _thanks to you, partly_ he wanted to add but Rachel had confided in him and now was not the right time to betray her. “No, I came here because there are a few things I need to tell you, that I should’ve told you a while ago. Hell, that I should not have even done or said to begin with.” Rachel was looking at her with narrowed eyes, _no he was not about to_ … “Noah, could we talk in private, please?” she asked him. He didn’t need to do that. She cursed herself for caring, after all those years. “Later, if you’re still willing Rachel, but I have to do this. I have to _take responsibility_.” A small silence filled the living-room of the Berry’s before Puck began.

“Leeroy, Hiram, the reason why I haven’t come around in so long is not because of school, or schedule. It’s because, well, of me. Of what I have become. See, Rachel and I aren’t exactly friends. That is an understatement. And I don’t blame her, how could I? It’s all my doing. After we moved from the neighborhood, I became outright mean to Rachel. No, it was more than that. I became cruel, for no reason. Just because I wanted to take my anger out on someone. For years, I berated her, I called her names, I threw slushies at her – literally, it’s not a figure of speech, unfortunately, Leeroy” Noah said, his eyes on the floor, unable to cope with the hurt and disappointment in her fathers eyes. Rachel, on her part, was _legit_ spellbound. She expected Noah to come and talk to her parents, but never did she expect him to do it in such a raw, straightforward manner, and in her presence. _He was really trying_.

“I even took part in some humiliating pranks during middle school and high school. We stole her clothes, trashed her car – yes, that was me. But you have to know that Rachel here didn’t do anything to me. She all took it in strides. She showed me, at best, indifference and I did not even deserve that from her. I was pretending I despised her because she was unpopular and a so-called freak, but the reality is that I wanted to block out everything that had to do with our former life. And that’s no excuse. I have no excuse. I’m just a lousy person. But when I saw her the other day still close to Ma and Bekah, while I had no idea, I couldn’t pretend anymore. She had treated me with nothing but kindness and care even when I had no idea, and I came her to apologize to her – I did already, but I’ll spend my life doing it if I need to…”

“Noah, it’s fine, you don’t need to apologize. As I said, I forgive you” Rachel has said, deeply moved by what he was telling her parents. “I need to Rachel. And it’s not just forgiveness that I want. I want my best friend back. No, I _need_ my best friend back. But I also came to apologize profusely to you Hiram and Leeroy. For what I did to Rachel, but also what I said about you. The words I used – I knew you heard, and all those, afterwards while you’ve always been so good to me. I know, about the help to Ma. Don’t blame Rachel. She had no intention to tell me, but you know me, I have my ways,” he said with a soft smile. He could see the same smile plastered on Leeroy’s face, he could see Hiram had a bit more trouble coming to terms with all of this. He was the first to speak.

“Noah, first, I condone your bravery for coming to us and telling us everything the way you did. To tell you the truth, I was the one who overheard you when you said what you said on the porch with Rachel. I had to be strong for our little girl back in the day, but I was heartbroken, not because of what you said as such, but because we considered you a son, truly.” He remained quiet for a while, as Puck was beating himself up internally for being a major idiot. Then Hiram smiled fondly. “But here’s the thing, we still do. You’re our son, Noah. I actually held you in my arms when you were born, even before your lame excuse of a father did. You certainly didn’t have that mohawk back then,” they all chuckled lightly. Then it was Leeroy’s turn to speak.

“What we are saying, Noah, is that if you’re willing, we welcome you back with open arms.” Rachel rolled her eyes and had a big smile on her face. “What is up to you Rachel?” Leeroy asked her. “I just knew you’d say those exact same words to Noah, the second I set my foot home. Actually, I thought you had already. I figured Noah would have told you already.” Leeroy shot her a fake exasperated look before he went on: “So, as I was saying before the smartass in the room interrupted me, you’re family, Noah – you, your mother and your sister – and you’ll always be. We know you were hurting so bad after Aron left, and how could you not? He was your rock. We’re willing to leave the past behind. But please, don’t trash our star’s car anymore?” Leeroy added to ease a bit the tension in the room. Rachel and Hiram had laughed wholeheartedly. 

Noah however didn’t. He couldn’t even move. He didn’t know how to react to the Berry’s kindness. He was about to cry, _again_ , _so much for being a badass_ , he thought when Rachel came to him and put her arms around his waist. He automatically wrapped his arms around her shoulders and brought her as close to him as possible, holding her tight. He could smell the vanilla in her hair. He missed that scent. He murmured in her ear: “I am incredibly sorry Rachel, please forgive me,” his voice was barely a whisper and yet the trembling in it was clear. “You were right, I don’t fucking deserve you, but…” She interrupted him, got out of his hold, put her forehead against his, just like they used to when they were kids and were about tell each other a secret: “Now, yes, you do deserve me.” Noah’s heart swelled at those words. Maybe – just maybe – could he start to get his friend back. Then, he’d also need to think about all those buried feelings.

“Rachel, if that’s okay with Leeroy and Hiram, I have one more thing to do. Ma wanted you over for dinner, and you know how she can be,” he said with a bit of a _faux_ annoyance in his voice. The two fathers looked at them and agreed. “Sure, you can go, say hi to Deborah for us, and Noah, please bring her home for 11.30.” Five minutes later, they were in Noah’s truck, sited in a comfortable silence, her hand in his, just like they used to do when they were kids. They were falling back into their routine quite quickly, and that warmed both their hearts.

As she stepped in the Puckerman house, Deborah welcomed her with a motherly hug and Bekah ran to her so that she could take her in her arms, which she did gladly. “Rachel, would you sing with Noah? I mean, you do sing better than him, but I never heard you sing together.” Puck glared at his sister and Deborah who heard it all from the kitchen, laughed. “You did hear them sing honey, you were just too young to remember.”

Rachel and Noah fell in their old routines, it is as if they never ceased to be around one another. A smile and a nod later, she was on a stool, beginning to sing _Saving All My Love For You_ , they had discovered that song in one of her Daddy’s old CDs, and even if they didn’t understand the meaning of the lyrics fully back then, they still enjoyed the song. They even had an arrangement of their own and had turned it into a duo. When they were done, Deborah was smiling fondly and Rebekah was in awe. “Rachel, you really are better than the Disney Princesses, and you both sound so good together. Noah, you should always sing with Rachel, she makes you sound so much better.” Bekah had meant that as a compliment, but her brother was grumbling something that Rachel caught: “ _She would make anyone sound better than they sound, she’s a star_.”

“Rachel, it is so good to see you, once again. We missed you so much. Thanks for coming, with all that went on and our busy schedules, we struggle to find time. God, it’s been years,” had said Deborah, happy that the nice Jewish Girl came back around, she secretly hoped her son and her spiritual daughter would end up together. “Ma, before dinner, there is something Rachel and I need to talk to you about, _alone_ – and don’t even start gushing, no we’re not together.” Rachel understood what he was about to do. She was frantic, she didn’t need him to do that, she was just happy they had reconnected. As they walked towards the kitchen with Deborah leaving Bekah in the living-room, Rachel had murmured to Noah: “you don’t have to do this.” Deborah had caught it, though. “Do what Noah?”

“Ma – please sit.” He waited for both of them to be around the table and he began. He didn’t miss any detail, all the things he did to Rachel, said about her, about her fathers, the slushies, the names, the car trashing, the insults. Even he couldn’t believe what he was saying. When he was done, his mother was in tears – and not even trying to hide them. Last time he saw his mother cry was when she saw his father in town and their eyes locked with each other. If someone could kill him now, he wouldn’t object. “Noah, how could you? Rachel is your best friend,” she said in a low voice. “I am so disappointed in you.” Then she turned to Rachel, looking at her in total astonishment. “And you, all those years, why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because of what you just said, Deborah. I didn’t want you to be disappointed in Noah – it would’ve killed me, and I know it kills him you said that. I could stand anything except you being disappointed in Noah, and him being miserable in turn. I couldn’t do that to either of you. And secretly, I was hoping that Noah – my friend Noah – would eventually come back to his senses,” Rachel said, patting Deborah’s hand. “Debby, all of this is in the past. What matters now is that Noah came to make amends, he owned up to his mistakes, has spoken to you, spoke to my fathers while…”

Deborah shot back a look at both teenagers. “Leeroy and Hiram know?” Rachel was quick to answer. “They have known for barely an hour now. Noah just told them, and I hadn’t before.” Deborah put her hand through her hair, “I must call them and apologize for your despicable behavior Noah. Did they kick you out? Did they kick you, period? They should’ve. I might, actually,” Deborah said angrily.

“Deborah, it is all good. We all spoke, and my fathers welcomed back Noah, contently must I add. They don’t hold a grudge, and you have absolutely nothing to apologize for. Let’s just have dinner, have a good laugh like old times, and forget about all of this. Shall we?”

Puck had remained silent, his head down, unable to look at his mother into the eyes. He was also impressed at how Rachel handled the situation and found common ground. It melted his heart to see how much she cared about his mother, about him too – and that after all these years, she hadn’t given hope on him. “Noah and I will put the table while you go freshen up and regroup a bit, Deborah? It’ll be our pleasure.”

The Puckerman mother took Rachel into her arms, apologizing for her son’s behavior, pinched said son’s arm for good measure and flew off the stairs to get ready. “Rachel, thank you. For everything. You didn’t have to do that, help me with my mom. The way you handled the situation, I mean, you’re something else, Berry,” he told her, smiling at her.

Dinner went well, and Rachel felt right in place with her friend and his family – well, her family, really. The Puckermans and the Berries dated a while ago, and they would last. Puck had driven back Rachel, for curfew and she kissed him goodbye on the cheek. That did something to his insides. He was brought back to the days where he was a kid and it seemed evident that Rachel would be his wife, one day – granted they had no idea what it entailed back in the day, and his thoughts got dirtier as he watched her walking to her door, her short skirt slightly brought up by the wind.

The next day, Noah had surprised Rachel and offered to drive her to school. As they arrived together, people began to stare at them weirdly. The Glee club diva and the sex shark, together, laughing? She probably fell for him – they all do, Puck was a ladies’ man.

Among the assistance was one Sam Evans, who couldn’t believe his eyes. He saw the complicity between the two of them, the small smiles, Puck’s hand on Rachel’s back. Then, something happened, a scene that made Sam snapped. Literally. He just heard them say at the same time: “leave the coyote alone” before they burst into hysterical laughter. “You know the traditions, Berry,” Noah said sweetly. “Noah, we’re sixteen. Actually, you’re seventeen.” Puck wouldn’t have it though. “Traditions are traditions,” he said before taking her hand and twirling her as she kept laughing. _How can I compete with that_? Sam thought sadly, his head hanging low.

Later that day, Rachel ran into Sam but she did not expect him to be exploring Santana Lopez’s throat with his tongue, in the hallways. _He kissed me yesterday, but that didn’t mean anything_ , Rachel thought, anger mixing up with sadness, jealousy and resignation. _Of course, Samuel Evans would go to Santana Lopez, they were match made in heaven, both popular, beautiful. Unlike me_ , Rachel thought, bitterly.

As she was about to turn, Sam caught a glimpse of that chestnut hair his hand had traveled through the day before. _She had seen them_.


	7. So Far Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rachel has a tough day at the office, confronting Sam and having Finn come to her.

When Sam Evans got to school that morning, he had in mind to talk to Rachel, to tell her that he was not able to forget about the kiss they shared nearby her secret place, that he was moved that she trusted him enough to take him there. He had laid in his bed for hours, trying to dissect his thoughts and feelings. It was not easy. First because the motel room they had to move to after his parents had lost everything was not comfortable, and second because he had to share the bed with his little brother Stevie and his little sister Stacey. Nobody knew, of course. He still had his truck, but he felt he’d need to sell it soon, if his parents did not get back on their feet. But as he slowly drifted to sleep, all he could see was Rachel’s face, that was all he could think about. When he woke up, he realized he wanted to be around her. He was not sure in what capacity, and how this would play out, knowing they both just got out of pretty intense relationships with people they thought they were respectively in love with. Funnily, those two people were getting together.

He knew he needed to speak to Rachel and to tell her that he felt things for her – things he probably never felt for anyone. He thought he’d loved Quinn, but after his kiss with Rachel and the time they had spent in tutoring, as he got to know her, he guessed maybe he hadn’t experienced true love with Quinn. Maybe it was not with Rachel either, they were only seventeen after all. What did they know about love? There was something about Rachel that attracted him, arguably. Sure, Santana has been texting him non-stop since he broke up with Quinn, and Santana was one of the most popular girls at school, one of the hottest as well – but if he was honest with himself, she had nothing on the tiny brunette diva. Rachel Berry was all kinds of awesome, she was very cute, beautiful, considerate, extremely clever and was utterly kind-hearted. Her main defect? She wanted things too much and that could turn her abrasive. Sam had noted that about her.

As he was about to head towards Rachel’s locker, he saw her enter school chatting, bickering and laughing with Noah Puckerman. That made his blood boil. She had forgiven Puck after all he did to her, in a nutshell. God only knows what number he played on her and what the hell he was referring to when he said he needed to take responsibility. The connection they had was radiating from both their bodies, their demeanours. Then, something happened that made Sam snap. He twirled her. He took her tiny hand in his own stupid hand and literally twirled her in the middle of the hallway. He was utterly disgusted. _He_ was supposed to hold Rachel’s hand and twirl her, and other things to her if he was totally honest. Instead, there he was, an idiot watching Rachel Berry giving Puck another chance.

Then he saw it in Puck’s eyes, for the first time, the care – dare he say it, the love – in his eyes. He never thought he’d see that from Puck, ever. Puck whose reputation consisted of being the ultimate sex shark, was wrapped around Rachel Berry’s little finger. They have history, Sam thought, and know each other so well. At that moment, the resolution he’d taken the day before, to fight for Rachel, was all gone, forgotten. All that remained was the hurt, the anger, the jealousy, the treason – although they did not commit to each other and she hadn’t done nothing as such, he couldn’t help but feeling betrayed. Especially after what went down with Quinn.

During lunch, Santana Lopez approached him at his locker. He was fragile, with what was going on with his family, with Rachel, he just needed the comfort. Unlike Rachel, it would be easy with Santana, because he knew she wasn’t the type of personality he’d fall for. She was just a girl he’d date for fun, and he also knew she wouldn’t be serious about him either. They’d be each other’s fun time away from school and troubles. He knew he wouldn’t be emotionally committed to her, as he was to Rachel – although he was blocking that out for the moment. Against that background, he went for it. He gave in, finally, and began kissing Santana in the hallways. He didn’t think much, he just thought it would numb the pain. The kiss was very Santana like, it was _hot_ and she was a great kisser. It soon turned into a legit make-out session. Yet, all he could think about was Rachel. That kiss with her felt so much different, it was sweeter, gentler, conveyed so much more than that. Not that this didn’t feel good, because it did – and it would totally increase in reputation to go at it with Santana Lopez. But, it was a fact: Rachel was in the back of his mind… until she reached his peripheral vision.

At first, he thought it was just a vision, his mind playing games with him. Then, when he saw her eyes flash with confusion and hurt, he saw as she retreated quickly. Their eyes hadn’t locked, so she had hoped he didn’t see her in the background – crucially, all he could see, was her. It is all it took for him to disengage from Santana’s sweet lips. “Santana, sorry, I have this thing for my Spanish class that I forgot about, I’ll see you later?” He pecked her quickly on the lips before he headed to the auditorium. He knew that’s where he would find Rachel. Probably belting out a song about how much she hated him. That thought alone made him run without even realizing, he was frantic.

As he got in, he indeed saw her seated at the piano, she was playing a song he didn’t know. _Long ago, I reached for you and there you stood. Holding you again could only do me good_. He had initially intended to rush on stage and beg for her to give him at least the time of the day. But as her voice kept singing, he was entranced. Her voice was, of course, a force of nature. No one could ever deny that. But the lyrics, the longing in them. And the softness, the fragility, the hurt, the delicacy. It was goldsmithery – only better – in motion. The precision, the accuracy of every single note, the way it sent little knifes to his heart – and apparently his legs and he couldn’t get himself to move. Everything around him could’ve burnt, he would not have realized. There was only her. He understood what star power really meant.

He didn’t even realize when she ended the song, tears on her cheeks, and someone else from the other end of the auditorium applauded and walked to her. “Rachel, that was extraordinary. I am going to say something stupid, but you improved and I didn’t think it was something possible for you. Everything felt in place as it should have. This was outright professional. It had it all, the emotion, the precision, the technique – and the piano, I had no idea you played. You blew me away.”

It was Mr. Schue. Hot was passing by and heard a voice he thought was familiar, but couldn’t situate. He was spellbound when he saw it was Rachel. He remembered her being about technique, accuracy and strength, but the way she handled that soft pop slow ballad, the theatricality of it all was moving. “Thank you, Mr. Schuester,” was all Rachel said. She did not really want to engage with a teacher who didn’t see her beyond her voice.

“Rachel, I don’t know what to say. I know we’ve all hurt you and I apologize for that. But would you consider coming back to Glee?” She nodded her head vigorously. “I don’t want to seem conceited, Mr. Schuester, but I have no reason to. I can make it on my own when it comes to music and singing. The only thing Glee had for me, was being part of something special, of a close-knit group. But I was not really part of it, I was just an instrument. I refuse it. Now if you’ll excuse me.” As she hopped from the stage, Mr. Schue could see the tears in her eyes. So, did Sam who stayed in the back, hidden, heartbroken, kicking himself internally for what he’s done to the tiny brunette.

“Alright Rachel, but do you mind me asking why you’re so distraught? Did something happen? You know you can always come to me…” She chuckled sadly and interrupted him. “Nothing for you to worry about Mr. Schuester.”

“I care about you Rachel, you were my Spanish student, and Glee student. It’s only natural that I worry for you, when I see you crying,” he held his hand to try and squeeze her shoulder but she was quick to move away from his hold and just told him, in a cold stone tone: “I think it’s a little too late for that, Mr. Schuester,” and she left him bewildered at the Rachel Berry he had in front of him.

Sam had seen it all, and while he only got a picture of how deeply Glee Club had hurt her, he immediately followed her in the hallways, picking her harm gently and tucking her into an empty class. She was about to scream for help when she saw it was _him_. “Oh, Samuel. Good morning. How may I help you? I think we don’t have tutoring before 3 pm. Have I messed up my schedule?”

Sam was exasperated. _Was she being serious right now?_ He decided to cut to the chase. “I saw you, Rachel.” He fixed her with his intense blue eyes, and she felt herself slightly flinch at the sight of beauty in front of her “I saw you when I was with Santana, and I saw you, heard you in the auditorium, and then with Mr. Schue. Rachel, I never meant to hurt you.”

“We don’t have to talk about this Samuel, I…” He cut her, immediately, irritated that she was trying to avoid having a conversation with him. “Yes, we do. I kissed Santana. I am sorry. I don’t know what has gotten into me.” Rachel chuckled sadly, in between two sobs. “Why wouldn’t you? She is gorgeous, even I can say that. She has the type of personality that can keep you on your toes, she sings superbly, she is very intelligent. She’s so high on the food chain she cannot even look at me from her pedestal. I just wished you had given me a heads-up that you guys were together.”

“Rachel, we weren’t. I don’t even know if we are. As for heads-up, the same you could’ve given me before you walked in this morning with Puckerman openly flirting and twirling all around.” Sam was angry, and he couldn’t help what he was saying. It was as if he had no filter and couldn’t control what he said. “Sam, there is nothing between Noah and I, we’re friends. Just friends.” Sam scoffed, mad that she would consider him dumb enough to believe that. He knew what he saw, and with his experience with Quinn, he knew better than to trust a girl who invented excuses on the fly. “ _Friends_ , right. The same type of friends we were yesterday when we kissed? Do you do that with all your _friends_?”

Rachel was at loss of words. He might as well just have slapped her hard in the face. She recoiled physically, her back against the door, her hand on the doorknob, ready to leave and to cry her eyes out in the ladies’ room. He had basically minimized what went down between them the day before, the connection she had felt, and called her a tease, an easy girl who would just kiss around. That’s when he gave her the final short. “You know Puck will only hurt you and leave you behind, right? He’d never actually date a…” He stopped before he blurted the last word, horrified to see the lengths he would go to hurt back, just because she hurt him. _That certainly isn’t love, at least not the good version of it_.

It was too late, though. Rachel is a particularly clever girl – he would know, she tutors him three times a week. She did guess the word that almost crossed his – _abnormally big yet tasty lips_ – and finished his sentence. “A freak?” She pronounced the word with a sob breaking at the end, and new tears forming in her eyes. “Yes, I assume he wouldn’t. And neither would you. I understand that, now. I’ll see you at 3, Samuel.” Then she was gone.

For the first time, Sam Evans discovered he had a violent side. He kicked in one of the chairs, so hard that his foot hurt – to a point he wasn’t sure he would be able to properly practice football this afternoon. How did things go so wrong between them? His initial plan was to profusely apologize, grovel and eventually have a second chance. Instead, she told him that Puck and she were friends and all that came to his mind was how Quinn had lied along the same lines about helping a suffocating _friend_. Then, he just lost it and said awful things to her. He’d pushed too far. He was a wreck for the past few days between Quinn and his family falling apart, plus having to work to bring a bit of money while maintaining his efforts during school and tutoring. The pressure was too much and he popped off at worst possible time, with the person who deserved it the least. He had begun crying as soon as she bolted out, and he hadn’t even realized. Despite it all, she was still willing to tutor him and help him improve his grades and help him through dyslexia. This girl was amazing, and he was the biggest jerk the planet even hosted.

He spent the two hours before tutoring, trying to think of ways to apologize to Rachel – to no avail. The session had lasted two hours, during which, each time he tried to address the topic, she avoided with elegance and subtlety with yet another exercise, yet another question, yet another explanation filled with nuance and depth. When the session ended, she told him, expressionless: “Next week, we’re going to start on classic theater, and Mr. Robson will come by to assess your progress. I sent him my report already, as planned.”

He looked at her with puppy eyes, trying to earn some sympathy from her. “Rachel…” She was quick to cut him. “Samuel, if what you are going to say is not related to your tutoring or your mild learning disability, I suggest you keep it for yourself,” she scolded him, not daring to look into his eyes – knowing if she would, she would give in, and she couldn’t. He would not fool her again. “Rachel, please…” Rachel shook her head. “I take it is not tutoring-related. I will see you in two days. Have a good afternoon, Samuel,” and she left the room leaving him alone, for the second time in less than a day. The only difference is that she had time to regroup and this time, she left with all the dignity she could muster, running her hand through her shiny chestnut hair, in a sign of (fake) self-confidence.

As she was headed to her car, she heard someone call her name. She knew that voice all too well. _Finn Hudson_. She was mentally exhausted, going what she went through with Sam earlier had drained her, and gathering all the courage to go through that tutoring session professionally had taken a toll on her. “Rachel, hey, Mr. Schue told me about what happened in the auditorium. I’m sorry Rachel. He is as well, really. You should’ve seen him when he was informed you had switched Spanish classes, not to have him as your teacher anymore.”

“Finn, Mr. Schuester never missed an occasion to ostracize me during my time at Glee Club. He was just an additional person who pretended to like me – he didn’t even pretend that well. I, however, couldn’t pretend was all fine and go _sentarme en su clase de español come si fuera nada_.” * Finn was confused, his Spanish was rudimentary, at best, and he knew Rachel could go on and on in that language. “Anyway, he’s sorry. We all are.” She looked at him. “I am not coming back, Finn, ever.”

“Fair enough. I don’t care about that. I actually came because I saw you with Puck this morning. Are you guys back together? How could you do this to me, Rachel? You knew this was a sensitive topic for me, and yet you did. You did the one thing I cannot stand. How could you?”

Rachel couldn’t understand the logic. He was the one who initially lied, who would be ashamed of getting caught with her in public, and now he was turning that against her to make her seem like the bad girl. The worst about it? He actually looked hurt. “Listen Finn, first, Noah and I are just friends. You remember when we were kids and Noah and I were best friends, and you actually hated me for taking your friend from you? Well, Noah and I talked and we realized we would like to try and be friends again. Just friends. Second, I don’t own you anything, Finn Hudson. You lied to me about Santana, while everybody knew but me, and now you’re with Quinn. I hope you two are happy – but you need to leave me alone.”

Finn couldn’t believe what he was listening, he was frantic. She was right, he technically was with Quinn, but he didn’t know how that happened, it just felt easy and nice – and Quinn was head cheerio, she was popular, he was Quarterback, he was popular. It was only fitting they would get together during high school. But after that? He saw himself long-term with Rachel, they were endgame and he’d be damned if Puck stole her from him. “Rachel, I can’t be with you now, but you do know that you and I, we’re _it_ , right? You’re supposed to be mine.”

Rachel scoffed before she busted in a humorless laugh. “See? That is exactly why I am not interested. Because you think I’ll sit around and wait for you to finish your popular high school life until you _settle_ for me. Well, Finn, I’m not someone you settle for. I’m better than that. And quite frankly, I’m better than you.”

Rachel got in her car and started it, leaving behind her, a confused Finn. He had a lot of thinking to do. Was popularity that important as to potentially lose the girl he (not so) secretly loved? Until now, the truth is that he thought Rachel would always wait on him, because that’s ever done ever since he gave her the time of the day. But he came to see that Rachel also had her dignity, her pride. He needed to do something about this – after he wins Prom King with Quinn at his side, he’d reconquer Rachel. Prom was in a couple of weeks, and he was so close snatching King – Rachel wouldn’t move on in two weeks.

Later that evening, Rachel was sitting in her room with Noah, they were doing homework, listening to music and enjoying each other’s company. It felt good, especially after a day filed with hurt and disappointment. Her mind couldn’t help but wander back to Sam’s words and cruel attitude, to Finn’s words and entitled attitude. And then, she remembered the man currently sitting beside her on her desk, hadn’t spared her either. Sure, he made amends and they were in a better place. But she was vulnerable, and she didn’t think when she blurted: “Noah, why is it so easy for you guys to hurt me? Am I that terrible?” She broke down after that sentence.

Noah looked at her with hurt, self-hatred and utter shame. There was that gorgeous, kind, sweet girl, broken, next to him. It was his fault. The idea alone made him want to get to his knees.

_I should’ve known better than to think I could erase ten years in a couple of days and a family dinner_.

* Sit in his Spanish class, as if nothing happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kind words in comments, the kudos, subscriptions and bookmarks - they really help get going and keep writing. Please don't hesitate to share your views !


	8. Chapter 8 - A Date (?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Puck and Rachel talk it out and agree to give themselves a chance. Meanwhile, Sam is remorseful after what went down with Rachel. As he confronts Puck on that ill-fated discussion he had with Rachel in the lockers, she is cornered in Principal Figgins' office, by Will Schuester, who tries to get his diva back to the Glee Club.

Noah was taken aback by Rachel’s question, he thought he was doing better by her, that they were slowly rebuilding what they once had. He was even ready to ask her on a date, to see once and for all whether they would be good together, without any Baby drama, Finn drama or the like. He smiled sadly and while he expected to see anger in Rachel, he saw it mixed with another emotion he first couldn’t identify. _Hurt, pain_. That made his hands tremble. “Rachel, I’m so sorry, I know I…” She cut him short, realizing she had misspoken. “I am the one who should be apologizing, Noah. I didn’t mean to offend you or hurt you in any way. It is true that you’ve been absolutely lovely since we resumed our friendship. I’m not looking for apologies, these I got, surely more than I should have and I wholeheartedly accepted them. I still do. But it is just…”

Rachel was nervous, she still didn’t know whether she could trust Noah, trust was so easy to break but so difficult to recreate. She had to give it a try, otherwise her speech about forgiving him and wanting to be friends again would be nothing but a travesty. She was playing with her hands, looking very interested in them and Puck knew that posture too well. He could still recognize a distressed Rachel Berry. “Rachel, spill.” That is all Noah needed to say for Rachel to look at him. Her whole demeanor broke his heart. Something must’ve happened. _Hudson, most likely_. He scoffed just at the thought.

“It’s just a fact, Noah. I mean besides you, there is Finn, obviously, who played with my feelings all along. He came to me this afternoon berating me for going back to you and telling me I was his, and that I needed to wait patiently for him while he finishes his high school experience, basically. He won’t let me move on while he is running for Prom with Quinn. I’m so over him, but it won’t get through his thick skull. Then, do you remember Jesse?” Puck was fuming just at the reminder of the brunette boy Broadway-bound male diva – basically a male version of Rachel, only mean while Rachel was the kindest. He just nodded. “Well, needless to remind us all that he played me, pretended to love me, even switch schools for me, said he loved me and then had no qualms in egging me. There just seem to be a trend of boys hurting me, as if I was some sort of preferred target for boys. Is there something wrong with me?”

“God, Rachel, no. There is nothing wrong with you. If anything, we’re the messed-up ones, because we couldn’t see how amazing you are when we had you, and now, we are just sitting on our sorry asses, regretting everything we did to you. I surely am, and Hudson too. He is just an outright idiot who thinks he can have it all. Please tell me you’re not going back to him Berry.” He looked at her expectedly, dreading her answer. She was quick to fire back. “Noah, not a million year. I am over him. He thinks he is better than me, he is doing me a favor by dating me. I did love him, yes. But I can’t be with someone who doesn’t abide by the gospel he preaches. He pursues me while with Quinn, then sleeps with Santana, thinks it is better to lie about it, but makes me guilty for dating Jesse when he didn’t think I was good enough for him, and kissing you? Also, he can’t overcome the fact that I kissed you, but he can easily go back to Quinn who had sex with another guy – sorry Noah – got pregnant and lied about the identity of the father? Give me a break. Finn Hudson needs to grow up, and I am not waiting around for that to happen.”

Noah could not have smiled wider. He got Rachel right where he wanted. “So, you won’t see any opposition in going on a date with me, Berry, will you?” he asked, waiting for her answer. “Noah, don’t you think we tried enough on that front? I love you, I do. I think even when you were throwing slushies at me on a daily basis, part of that love remained intact. But I just think that we know each other too well, for too long, for us to work as a couple. There is no mystery or seduction – and your comments about sex are _not_ seduction,” she laughed as she added the last joke. He grumbled. “I guess I see your point. But, one date won’t change that Rachel. How about we give it a go, and if it doesn’t click, we’ll just go back to being the awesome friends we are?” He knew he was pushing his luck here, but he needed to clearly understand what he felt for Rachel. He had never felt that before, for anyone. And since he hadn’t loved anyone before – except for Bekah, his mother and Beth, of course but that was different – he wasn’t sure where he stood with Rachel, what if she was the _one_? They were two looking Jews, after all, it was only natural. As he was planning that date, thinking of vegan restaurants to take her, he saw she had a weird face, she was thinking about something and it wasn’t pleasant. It hit him. Just like when they were younger, he could see right through her. “Rachel, you’re not telling me everything.”

Rachel’s eyes bore into Noah’s, surprised that he could still read her so well, after all these years. “Noah, I’ll tell you. But, I need you to remain calm.” She too knew him and his anger management problems. “Spill, Berry. We’ll see about calm later.” She sighed, there was no way around his stubbornness – a trait they shared, without a doubt. “Well, the list of boys that hurt me? I forgot to add Samuel.” _Who was Samuel?_ “I mean, Sam Evans. We sort of got close once I started tutoring him.” _That explains his sudden improvements in English, Rachel was really something else_. “And after he broke up with Quinn, we hang out. One thing leading to another, we kissed. It was sweet.” Noah couldn’t stand the dreamy eyes Rachel harbored referring to Evans. He wasn’t sure what he felt, but it wasn’t all jealousy. It was part of it, but there was also a protective side to it. “Then the following day, I saw him kiss Santana Lopez. I guess they’re dating now. When I went to confront him about it, he essentially said I was a freak, and it made sense that he’d date someone like Santana. He even said that he wasn’t surprised you’d never date a freak like me.”

Rachel tried to hold back tears, but to no avail. Noah was fuming. “I’m going to kill him,” he said before rushing over to Rachel to hug her tightly. “Rachel, please, don’t listen to him. He’s just a jerk, who doesn’t deserve you.” Rachel took a couple of minutes before she regrouped. “Noah, it’s fine. Please, don’t do anything rash. I just, you know, felt a connection with him. I liked him. But, I’m an idiot. How could a popular handsome jock like Sam Evans give me the time of the day? You must think I’m pathetic, swooning over every boy that spares me a second of attention,” she said with a bitter laugh.

“Rachel, listen to me. You’re not pathetic. You’re a strong, beautiful, talented girl. You’re going places while us all losers are going to be here in Lima, watching your acceptance speech for a Tony Award or whatever that is, remembering how we had our chance with you and blew it, while you’d barely remember us. Believe me.” She looked at him, smiling. “Come on, Noah you know that’s not true. You’d be sitting in the room while I give my speech, as my best friend. You’ll be my sides, won’t you?” For a second, he thought she was going to tell him she wasn’t good enough for Broadway, but there are things that never change. “Well, if you’ll have me, Miss Berry. For now, let me tell you what we’re going to do. You’re going to get ready and pretty for me while I go do the same, and I’ll pick you up in an hour to take you out for dinner – as a date.” He winked as he finished his sentence. Rachel just shook her head affectionately, knowing better than to argue with him. _Maybe Noah was the right one for me? We know each other so well, and I know how he can be when he loves people_.

As she was getting ready, Rachel couldn’t help but think about Sam. What he had said to her, the way it all broke loose. Little did she know that the very same Sam Evans was lying on his bed in a modest motel on the other side of town, thinking of Rachel Berry, his face in his hands, hating himself for what he did to her, for letting his anger and jealousy get the better on him and ultimately, the worst out of him. Rachel wouldn’t speak to him ever again, and she would be right. That, outside of their tutoring classes, of course. He wanted to apologize, but she didn’t let him at tutoring and when it was done, she stormed through the door, leaving him behind. That was Rachel Berry in all her splendor. Proud, knowing how to hold a grudge but also systematically the bigger person, the one who would help and assist even – and in particular – those who did not deserve it. _I don’t deserve it_. He could send her a message, but crucially, he didn’t have her number. He had erased it after she’d given it to him during Glee Club. He didn’t dare ask afterwards, when she understood what he’s done after their first tutoring session.

Back at Rachel’s house, Noah was waiting downstairs for Rachel, chatting with Leeroy in the living room, when she appeared. “Noah, I think I’m ready to go.” He turned to look at her, and for a minute, it was as if he had forgotten how to speak. Rachel was looking gorgeous. This mustard little dress hugged her body in all the right places, it also went well with her skin color. She had let her long brunette locks free, styling them just a little. Make-up was kept to a minimum and only in nude tones. She was to fall for. “Rachel, you look absolutely stunning,” he said as he was recovering from his initial shock and extending his hand to hold his. “Have fun kids, and Noah, don’t forget to bring this lady back by 11,” said Leeroy.

“Damn Berry, you sure know how to turn up the temperature, you’re smoking.” Rachel laughed in earnest. “Noah, I should have figured the whole stunning charming show was just a play while my father was around and that you’d get back to your crass self as soon as we’d cross the door,” she said, hitting lightly his arm. “Not sure what crass means baby, but I’ll take it as a compliment.” Rachel shook her head as she walked with him to his truck. The road to the restaurant was animated, they had sung together to the radio, he was amazed at how Rachel voice sounded even when she didn’t mean to actually sing. She even did a bit of rap, which left him dumbfounded. It was comfortable. _Maybe a bit too much comfortable?_ Noah didn’t feel the adrenaline he usually felt when he took other girls’ out – well, that was because he was not trying to get into Rachel’s pants, at least not yet. He was, after all, a teenager with hormones and needs that controlled him more than he’d like to admit.

The whole evening went in similar fashion. Laughs, endless conversations, comfort, memories also. A lot of them. “Rach, do you remember when we had to do that project together in elementary school, about a volcano, and you put too much coke in that Mentos-filled volcano? How it exploded on your cute face, and how Hiram berated us for _hours_.” Time flew by until they realized they had to go back to be on time for Rachel’s curfew. The road back was quiet, Rachel was trying to analyze their evening. She had a lot of fun, she felt carefree and secure with Noah. But she didn’t feel any spark. She thought it was maybe normal after a first date. Her doubts only grew when they kissed on her porch. She needed to break it to him, choosing her words carefully.

“Noah, this evening was lovely…” He cut her, his hand on her cheek, stroking her lovingly. “But it was not _it_. I felt it too Rachel – or rather didn’t feel it. We do get along so well, we know each other by heart. But, we don’t have _chemistry_ or whatever you chicks call it. It’s like we work great on paper, but then in real life, we work better as friends. You know?” Rachel decided to test her acting skills. “Noah, I am disappointed I must say. I was about to tell you how uplifted and fulfilled I felt by your side and how much your kiss set me on fine, but…”

“Rachel, I am so sorry. You’re an amazing girl and whoever gets you, will be lucky. I just think that. God, I don’t know how to say it. You know I suck at this,” he whined. She burst into loud laughter as she patted his forearm. “Not to worry Noah, I was joking – well acting, more accurately – I felt the same way as you did. You’re good.”

Noah exhaled a sigh of relief, he didn’t want that night he insisted on to be a new hurdle in their newly building friendship. “Rach, God, you scared me. Let us focus on how much of a good actress you’ve become over the years. I mean, you fooled me when I was a kid. But fooling the badass resident in town, even today, that’s to salute, Miss Berry.” He bid her good night with a quick kiss on her cheek. As sweet as he had acted himself during the night, he couldn’t help but think of what Sam had told Rachel, and he hoped that Rachel didn’t see their failed date as a concretization of what Sam had said. It wasn’t like that. _Being friends with Rachel Berry isn’t simple, the girl is high maintenance and makes you go through roller-coasters – but she sure is worth it_.

“Evans, a word.” Puck had cornered Sam after practice, not being able to speak to him before. Sam saw madness in Puck’s eyes, while he was staring at him with all the contempt he could muster. Sam remained silent, inviting his fellow glee-clubber to speak. “How dare you tell Rachel she is a freak and tell her all the horrid stuff you said about her, and about me? What the hell dude?”

Sam was decent enough to at least look ashamed. He wasn’t scared of Puck – or at least so he tried to convince himself. He explained to him that it was not _exactly_ what he said, that Rachel beat him to hit because he wasn’t even brave enough to finish his sentence. “I never meant to hurt her, okay? I like her, I do. But, I just got so angry and blindsided by jealousy – okay? But you didn’t make it any easy on me, okay? You were twirling her, flirting her in the hallways less than 24 hours before we had kissed and it was all I could think about. So yeah, when I saw that, I just wanted to feel good about myself, Santana was there and she’s smoking. You would know. But the reality is that…”

“There is no forgetting Rachel, I would know, I’ve been there,” Puck said. He understood Sam in a way, but what he did was still wrong. He hurt Rachel, and this he couldn’t forget – probably because he couldn’t forgive himself for the same, because Rachel did forgive him, that she would forgive Sam eventually because that’s just the way she is and that Rachel needed someone on her side who wouldn’t forgive so easily. “Dude, you hurt her, and for that, I should make you pay. Rachel does like you, I could see it – you, not me. As hard as it is to believe, we’re _just friends_. We are very close because we’ve known each other for a while. But she felt something for you. This much I can tell. You going to another girl, especially Santana, knowing what went down between her and Hudson…”

“You mentioned anything about me, Puck,” Finn asked as he was passing by in the locker room. “No, just your stunt with Lopez, who Sam is sort of dating now, I guess.” Finn looked at both of them with a slight smirk. “Look at us, we all three dated Santana and Quinn. Well, I’m still dating Quinn,” he said with a sly smile directed at Sam, who couldn’t care less. His mind had shifted to a tiny brunette without him even noticing. “Whatever, Hudson. Be happy with Fabray. You two deserve each other,” Puck said, exasperated at his former best friend for his dumbness and for what he had put Rachel through. “Well, we’re good together for high school and stuff. But long-term, it’s Rachel. I mean, I still love her and we’ll find our way to each other. I know that.”

Puck couldn’t help it, he had a few home truths to tell Hudson. Before thinking, he said: “About that Hudson, I wouldn’t hold my breath if I were you.” Finn looked at him angrily. “What do you mean, Puck?” Noah was way so very happy to oblige and answer the question. “It means Rachel is through with you. She thinks she deserves better, and you know what? She’s right. She told me so herself yesterday, when I was at her place, on her bed. You’re an idiot, thinking she’ll wait on you.”

_He had been on her bed_ , _again_? “You promised you’d leave Rachel alone, Puck. Rachel is mine. When will you get this? She’s mine, she’s off limits. When will you understand? The rest of the school gets it. Nobody approaches her.”

This time, it’s Sam who spoke, in defense of Rachel. He tried to shake off the doubts creeping within him at the mention of Puck on Rachel’s bed. “Rachel is nobody’s, she’s free to do whatever she wants. She’s a great girl. And you’re the reason why she left the club, Hudson. Now, get lost.” Puck was impressed. He had never seen Sam stand up that way to anyone, and he had done it for Berry of all people. How could he not root for him? He knew the road wouldn’t be the smoothest though, Rachel had a tendency to block out people who hurt her for a while before she gave them a chance to tell their side of the story. He’d have to be patient, and show her meanwhile that he was in it for the long ride.

As Finn left the lockers, hitting everywhere he could on his way out, as a spoiled brat, Puck felt like he needed to dissipate the doubts he saw plastered in Sam’s face. “Dude, just to be clear. What I said? It was just to mess with Hudson. I was doing _homework_ on Rachel’s bed. Nothing happened. We tried to go on a date afterwards, but we both felt awkward and decided we were better off as friends. Alright? I know I can’t be trusted with girls. But trust me when I say that nothing is going on between Rach and I, and trust me when I say that I’ll beat the crap out of you if you ever hurt her again.” Sam nodded. _Please do_ , he thought for himself.

At the same time, in the Principal’s office, Will Schuester was trying his best to get his best diva back to the Glee Club. “Mr. Schuester, again, I have no interest in returning to Glee Club. I have grown out of it. I think the majority of its members are happy with me leaving. Only a handful had come to ask if I’d come back and told them I wouldn’t. I can make it on Broadway on my own, I don’t need a club that doesn’t appreciate my talent, or a teacher… Never mind.” Will answered: “Rachel, the club is falling apart. They’re not working hard enough. Mercedes thinks she can do songs on the fly and her wailing will be sufficient to get us through. Brittany and Mike’s choreographies have decreased in quality and when I asked them why, they confessed you used to give them pointers on harmony between the dancing and the song. Rachel, this club cannot do without you, and you have a duty to it. Isn’t it, Principal Figgins?”

Before Figgins could speak, Rachel was quick to respond: “It is an extra-curricular activity. Principal Figgins cannot force me to join the Glee Club. I am in all AP classes, I’m on the honorary roll, I have always been ever since I joined this school. I owe nothing to anyone, even less to the Glee Club.” Her stance was definitive, Principal Figgins could see it and he knew better than to argue with Rachel Berry – and this had nothing to do with her family’s ties to the ACLU. “I’m afraid Miss Berry is right, William. We cannot force her to take part in any after-school club or activity. We can encourage her, and I do encourage her knowing the talent she has, but the decision is hers. And it seems she has taken it, unfortunately.”

“Are we good here, Principal Figgins,” she asked rhetorically, getting ready to leave. “A word please, Miss Berry? Alone, if you’d leave us for a minute, William?” Will was waiting Rachel by the Principal’s office as he saw her nod and leave the room. He needed to clear something with her. As she was exiting the office, he grabbed her gently by her arm, effectively stopping her. “Rachel, please, can we talk, civilly? Without any animosity?” She nodded for him to continue. “You said something in the office about a ‘teacher,’ presumably me, and I would like to understand what it is that I did that affected you so much, and how I can change for you to come back.”

Rachel knew this would come sooner or later, she would have rather avoided this discussion had she could, be if she was being honest, she had to tell Will Schuester a piece of her mind. “Just so we’re clear, I’m not joining the club back. Ever. And as to what you’ve done. Well, nothing. That is precisely the point. You let everyone in that club tear me down, belittle me, humiliate me, call me names, and stood idly – as long as I was winning you competitions with my voice, it is all that mattered to you, Mr. Schuester.”

“Rachel, that is not true” That is when Rachel snapped. She was furious, but she needed to keep her temper in check because it was after all a teacher she was speaking too, and her fathers had raised her well. “Oh, I am sorry. I must have missed it when Quinn said she wanted punch me in the face and you called her on it. I must have forgotten how Santana was calling me Hobbit, RuPaul and other lovely names and you stood up for me. I must have eluded the moment when Mercedes threatened to beat me, and you just laughed at it. I must have erased from my memory when Finn broke my heart, lied to me and you sided with him through think and thick. I must have blanked when Artie said I was irritating pretty much all the time and you berated him for it as the teacher you are. I must have missed it when Puck said I set him on fire and I would jump to Vocal Adrenaline and you defend my honor. Yes, all those moments must’ve slipped my mind. I apologize, Mr. Schuester. Now if you’ll excuse me.”

Will was left speechless. She was right. All that she said was accurate. He hadn’t realized until now. He had failed her as a teacher and as a result, he had failed the entire club. It is just that Rachel seemed so mature, so ahead of everyone in everything she did, brilliant, smart, poised, determined and so talented, that he didn’t think any of it actually got to her. But seeing all the hurt she had when she recounted all these moments, the way she lived through them waiting for the teacher, the adult in the room to speak up. In vain. He tended to forget she was a teenager, because when it came to singing and performing, she handled herself with professionalism and determination. He secretly admired that about her. But after today’s discussion, he realized he she was still a teenager, with feelings and he had pushed her too far. It was not a diva fit, this time, she just couldn’t stand it anymore, stand him, stand them.

Rachel rushed to the auditorium. First, because after this intense confrontation with Mr. Schuester, she needed to cool off before heading to the community center for her singing classes. Second, Principal Figgins had asked her if she could sing a song for Prom, which was around the corner. She had accepted, a performer never backed down from taking on the stage. She asked him to keep it a secret, though. She had a song in mind she wanted to try. She set herself on the piano, her fingers spinning gracefully on the keys. _There’s a fire starting in my heart, reaching a fever pitch and it’s bringing me out the dark_. Her voice was steady, strong, on point with the song’s poignant story.

_Finally, I can see you crystal clear. Go ahead and sell me out and I'll lay your ship bare_. Another voice had joined in on the second verse.

She knew this voice all too well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading, commenting, kudosing, subscribing and showing your support. It's much appreciated. Please keep reviewing, it helps going - and if you could share it around you to whoever you think could like it, that'd be so kind ;)
> 
> And, of course, you understood who will be making his entrance in the story at the next chapter ! ;-)


	9. Redemption

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new man resurfaces in the life of Rachel Berry, and wishes to apologize too. Meanwhile, Rachel's friends are worried she might be too forgiving.

_Of course_ , _Rachel Berry would be in the auditorium, and naturally, she’d be singing on the piano_ , thought the brunette that walked in McKinley High for the first time in more than a year. When he heard Rachel belt Adele’s song, he was entranced, feeling like he had to join. He always felt that way when he heard her sing. There was no escape, especially when she was playing the piano. _“Jesse, you’re the only one that knows that I love singing and playing the piano when I am alone, no one but my fathers knows I play the piano_.” She had shared that with him when they were sort of dating last year. Before he broke her heart – and an egg on her head, but he preferred to believe to think this was just a detail. Rachel and he were so much alike, they like drama, and did not bother with _practicalities_. Right, that was exactly that: a practicality.

So, he joined in, and they sounded _amazing_ together. His heart couldn’t stop beating in his ears. He felt like she was singing to him, he felt every word radiate from her, as a little knife aimed at him, and he deserved it. The looks she shot him during the song, he deserved that too. He hated to admit that when he reached for her hand, and she outright rejected it, he felt hurt. Him, the frenzy up and coming theater supernova, was hurt by a tiny short – only by height, she was great in every other respect – schoolgirl back in Lima, Ohio. He had promised he’d never return in that small town, hell, to that state. But there he was, back to Rachel Berry.

“Jesse, what are you doing here?” Her voice when she said that was soft, her eyes questioning, it almost felt like she was afraid of him. He couldn’t stand that thought. “I came back to see you, Rachel. It’s good to see you.” She laughed, a humorless laugh he never heard from her before. “I wish I could say the same, Jesse St James. What do you need from me this time? To throw tomatoes at me? Eggs is so last year, isn’t it? Now, if you’ll excuse me, Jesse. There are things I must tend to.”

As she aimed for the exit of the auditorium, he rushed to her, barring the way with his body. _An impressive physique, if there ever was one_ , she admitted to herself, berating internally the small schoolgirl _ingénue_ that still swooned over Jesse St James, the choir _extraordinaire_. But she had to admit that she was right, the Californian tan really sat well with him. “Rachel, I’ll get on my knees if I have to, hell, I’ll bust a move in the middle of wherever you are if I have to. All I ask is fifteen minutes. Let me explain, let me tell you everything and I promise I’ll never bug you again if you don’t want to talk to me ever again.”

Funny how they were all coming back to Rachel to apologize, one after the other. The problem with apologies is that they often come too late, and usually people only do it because it allows them to feel better about themselves, not because they actually care about the feelings of the person they hurt. At the same time, she couldn’t say she was not curious why Jesse came back to see _her_ , of all people, in Lima, of all places. “Fine, but I don’t have a helmet with me, so please, try to keep from throwing anything at me.” At first, he thought she was laughing and he had a nervous chuckle, but then he saw in her gleam that indeed, she was worried. That thought alone made his belly tighten with guilt.

“Rachel, I promise I will never hurt you again, at least not intentionally. What I did to you, it’s something I must live with every day. I am not asking you to forgive me, because I cannot forgive myself. I did it for all the wrong reasons, because I was an insecure kid who wanted to show his teammates that he belonged, because I was an impetuous jealous kid who felt that part of you would always belong to Hudson, because I was a naïve child who was scared to lose his scholarship if he wouldn’t do exactly what Shelby asked from me, because I was an ambitious brat who wanted more than ever to belong and win. But I lost Rachel. I lost big because I lost _you_.” He was about to continue, he had a plan on what he wanted to say, he just did not include in his plan, the option that Rachel would hold a grudge, would _hate_ him. He could see it in her eyes. He recoiled when she opened her mouth – _her beautiful mouth, those very kissable lips he tasted on more than one occasion_.

“Jesse, who do you think you’re fooling? I was a means to an end for you. I was never a human being to you. I was a way to get into UCLA – don’t think I don’t know you were filming us for your drama program application, to show you could play the role of the perfect lover like no other. Congratulations are in order, I hope you’re enjoying it. I was a way to get your scholarship through Shelby’s connections. Occasionally, I was a way for a good make-out session, a good lay ideally but we both know we never got to that, and we both know how you treated me when that happened. As an object, not a human being.”

She had tears in her eyes, where sadness, grudge and rage were mixing. Jesse never thought he’d provoke that in her, she loved Hudson back in the day – he knows they broke up, he kept tabs on her and understood that after he heard her rendition of _It Must’ve Been Love_ on MySpace. He thought she’d only sing show tunes, but she was good – too good – to limit herself. She sounded stellar, as usual. “Rachel, I swear it was not like that. I mean, at the beginning, yes, it sorts of was. I am not going to lie.” She scoffed and shot back at him. “Honesty? Is that a thing they teach you at UCLA, or is it yet another theater trope you’re trying on me? If so, I’d appreciate a disclaimer.”

Jesse was frustrated, she could see it as he ran a hand through his unruly curls. “Rachel, please, I am trying here. I did not do right by you. It is an understatement. I was a huge idiot. But the truth is? I couldn’t forget you. I tried so hard, boy did I try. But you were always here. As early as we left your auditorium before Regionals. At first, I thought it was guilt and remorse over what I did to you, because I knew I liked you and it stopped to be a game for me, the moment we sang _Total Eclipse of the Heart_ together. You got me hooked. I never sounded that amazing with anyone. Never. Then, you know when I understood that guilt was just a small part of it?”

Rachel shook her head, a hand on her hip, remaining silent. Jesse took it as an invitation to continue. “Do you remember Regionals? You were watching me singing _Bohemian Rhapsody_ , do you remember?” Rachel rolled her eyes. _How could she forget? He was breathtaking during that day. He was the whole package – always been, really_. “Jesse, you know I do remember. How could anyone forget? You rendition of that song has become the reference for show choir in the entire country ever since.”

He smiled, fondly. “That was because of you. There was a turning point for me during that song. You were in front of me and I was singing _you think you can love me and leave me to die_. Your eyes bore into mine.” All of a sudden, she too remembered, she had forgotten about that moment, buried it deep in her memory, unwilling to look into it and find any meaning to it. “Jesse…,” she murmured his name in a soft voice that gave him hope, at least, a little. “Rachel, at that moment, I realized that it was exactly what I did to you – not literally, but emotionally.” He winked as they both shared a smile at the shared memory at Carmel’s Auditorium when she came to him and said the exact same word to him.

“Your eyes were speaking for you. You always had the most expressive eyes I’ve ever seen. You were telling me how you felt about me, I could see how hurt you were. I never imagined I could hurt you that much because for me, it was Finn you loved, not me. Looking at you, I wanted to die, to run to you, to sing to you, all at once. That’s where the outburst of emotions came during that performance. From you. That day, I understood that it was not guilt that made me think of you – at least not guilt alone. It was longing. I missed you, so much. Sometimes, I would wake up breathless at night, thinking of your eyes while I was asleep, or your smile. It is cheesy, and I had never felt that way about anyone before. The feeling grew stronger when I got to Los Angeles. I had started stalking your social media, your Twitter, your Facebook, your MySpace. It was never enough.”

Rachel could sense the sincerity in his voice, she still remained cautious as Jesse was an excellent actor after all – _but even him couldn’t be that good_ , a voice inside her whispered. “Why are you here, Jesse? What do you expect from me exactly?” she asked him. “Nothing, Rachel. Nothing. The misery of losing you is something I must live with every day. It is my penitence. Karma really is a bitch. The truth is, I hate Los Angeles. That is because I played you, that’s my payback. I thought I could make it in Hollywood, but I don’t get the culture there or the appeal. I am New York-bound, Broadway-bound. So, I dropped off. I am going to spend some time in Lima, rekindle with my family. I’ll need it. Then I’ll head to New York next fall, and I hope you join me the following year.”

“I am sorry Los Angeles did not live up to your expectations, Jesse and I hope your plans play out as you hope. I really do. You are amazingly talented, and yes, you are Broadway-bound. No question. I also hope your time with your family does you right. Please extend my greetings to Pascal and Sally, they were lovely with me. I wish you, Jesse St James.” He felt as if it was an automatic message sent by some robot in the middle of the Silicon Valley, Rachel was trying to block him out, and that did not sit well with him. He was hurt she wasn’t more engaging. “Rachel, is it all you have to say to me? After all of what I said to you? My plans include _you_. Hell, they begin with _you_. I never stopped loving you, I love you. I still do.”

Rachel would lie if she said she wasn’t touched by Jesse’s confession, then she thought to what she said to Noah back in her room a few days earlier. She had to stop being that pathetic girl who would fall over heels for any boy that would play prince charming with her. “What do you want me to say, Jesse? That all is forgiven, all is forgotten? That I want to get back together? I cannot. You hurt me, there is no way around it. It’s going to take me a while to trust you again, that if I’ll be able to at all. I feel like we’re that couple that could’ve worked so well, we were perfect for each other on paper…” Jesse was frantic, he took her hand in his – it fitted so well – and told her, his blue eyes swimming in unshed tears “Rachel, please, we’re still perfect for each other. Nobody gets me the way you do. I’ll do whatever it takes but I cannot accept that you’ll never be part of my life ever again without a proper fight. I’ll fight for you, day and night. But, please open up just a bit so that I can do it. If there is even a 0.1% chance that you may still feel something for me then please, let me prove to you that I mean everything I said.”

She sighed. She would be lying if she said she never thought about him, never missed his arms, or the way they _got_ each other, even able to finish each other’s sentence. While Finn was mainly a fantasy, Jesse had been a broken promise. “I am not ready to get together with you. First, because I am not ready to be with anyone for a number of reasons, and second, well, because we have a lot to figure out. But, we can take things slow. Begin to rekindle slowly. Friendship is all I can offer at the moment. At least an attempt at friendship.” He pulled her closer to his chest, engulfing her in a surprise hug that she accepted. “Strawberry and vanilla, Rachel, some things never change,” he said, laughing.

Sam Evans saw a tiny chestnut-haired girl walking by him, with a curled-hair brunette boy’s hand in the small of her back. He knew that hair, and the strawberry-vanilla scent, the small laugh, they did not lie. He ran his hand in that shiny skill hair once. _Rachel_. _Who the hell was she with? Who was touching her in ways he should be touching her only_? Jealousy crept in. He didn’t recognize the guy she was with, but he followed them as she headed to her car and he hopped on his new – beautiful – bike. He couldn’t hear what they were saying, he just saw the exchange of smiles between the two of them. That alone, made him want to throw up in a way he never felt before, not even when he found out Quinn was cheating on him with his _friend_ Finn. Sure, he should be worrying about Santana at the moment, but they were casual and he felt the vibrant Latina wasn’t really into him. He couldn’t blame her, it was pretty obvious he wasn’t really into her either. It was convenient for both of them, and it was the silent agreement they had.

“Rachel Barbra Berry, you did not!” Kurt was restless as Rachel was catching him up at Lima Bean about her last adventures. “Kurt, it was romantic, soft, sweet. I had never experienced that before. Not with Finn, not with Jesse, not with anyone. Then, the next day, I caught him kissing Santana in the hallways and when I confronted him, he called me a freak. I guess, at least, he didn’t slushy me.” Kurt could see Rachel was utterly heartbroken, especially that she had never seen her speak with so much fondness and passion about a guy, not even his stepbrother. Sam’s reaction was so unlike him, Sam was sweet and kind, he was immune to teenage angst and outburst, or at least that’s what Kurt thought. “Kurt, my God, see who’s coming to the café. I’ll quickly go by the backdoor. Please join me later at mine? I’ll get going now, I don’t want to see him or talk to him, ever again.”

Sam Evans was going to grab coffee before his shift at the next-door comics books shop when he heard the backdoor close violently as he got in by the main one. He saw a glimpse of chestnut hair, of a skirt he’d seen earlier that day and when he locked eyes with Kurt Hummel, the town’s fashionista, he knew. He felt his chest tighten at the thought that Rachel would run away from him. He walked to Kurt, his head hung low. “Kurt, how are you?” His former fellow glee-clubber shot him a weird look. Too neutral to be true. “I’m fine, and yourself, Sam?”

“Well, you know. Same old, same old. Was it Rachel that I saw escaping from the backdoor? Is she avoiding me?” Kurt sighed, he knew Sam was reasonable and he could see in the way he asked the question that remorse was washing all over him. “I would be lying if I said she wasn't, Sam. She told me about you two. How could you do that, say that to her Sam? This is so unlike you.” That is when Sam broke. When Puck addressed him, he had perceived the anger and that he could handle. But, in Kurt’s word and demeanor, he could see the hurt and heartbreak he had on Rachel’s behalf, and that was way too much to handle, in addition to everything that was going on with his family. He sat on the couch, nearby Kurt and he was imploring him with his eyes to understand, not to judge him.

“Kurt, I know I was awful. But, she can’t keep running away like this. It’s just… I’m fucked up at the moment. Quinn had just left me, Rachel was too comfortable with Puckerman – and I just lost it… Plus, there is… my family,” Sam broke down. He was sobbing while Kurt was soothingly drawing circles in his back. There was just something so easy in speaking to Kurt, so he laid it all on him, how they had lost their house, the motel, the misery of it all. Kurt was taken aback. Rachel sure didn’t know about this. It would change her perspective, had she known. “Kurt, promise you won’t tell anything to Rachel. I don’t want her to know. She cannot know. I don’t want her to pity me or come back to me out of pity. She already keeps tutoring me because she feels sorry for me…” Kurt cut him instantly. “I won’t say anything, you have my word. If I can help in any way though, please don’t hesitate. As for Rachel, I’ll stop you right now, she’s not tutoring you because she feels sorry for you, she is doing it because it is her responsibility and duty, and because she believes in you. I must go, she must be wondering what’s taking me so long getting to her place. Your secret is safe with me. And Sam? Good luck. I’ll be rooting for you in the shadows. I think you too could have a great love story.” Sam hadn’t had the time to ask Kurt whether he knew anything about the mystery brunette boy hanging out with Rachel. He’d have to ask Puck about him. _Damn him_.

Kurt Hummel was certainly not expecting Sam’s revelation, but he was far from imagining what Rachel would reveal to him at her place. “Jesse Egger St. James is _back_? And you said you’d give him another chance? Rachel Barbra Berry, are you out of your mind?” Rachel sighed, exasperated, jumping off her bed. “Kurt Elizabeth Hummel, we can all play at that game. I’m not giving him _another chance_ as you put it, I simply agreed to try and put the past behind us and see where this goes. Jesse and I could be good for each other. We made mistakes, him, arguably way more than I did. But I wasn’t entirely honest with him either. I mean, when I was with him, half of the time I was thinking about Finn.” Kurt saw for the first time that she said his stepbrother’s name in a neutral tone, no longing, no regret, nothing. A bystander, potentially. “Rachel, just please be cautious? I just can’t bring myself to trust him. I’ll choke him with my bare hands if he ever hurts you again, are we clear?”

She hugged him as he was leaving. He had accepted to downplay his worry in front of Rachel, not willing to enter in a fight with her, but he needed to make sure that someone would keep an eye on her and Jesse, since he wouldn’t be around and needed to go back to Dalton the following day. He thought about Mercedes first, but the two divas were not exactly seeing eye to eye – mostly because Mercedes was jealous of Rachel’s talent and sheer abnegation and willingness to work. Then he remembered that Noah Puckerman had rekindled his long-lost friendship with the Lima Diva.

So, when he got to the Hudson-Hummel he dialed Puck’s number. As Finn was passing by the hallway, he heard parts of that odd conversation. _“Puck, I need to talk to you. It’s urgent_.” What could possibly Kurt and Puck talk about, thought Finn. He used to throw Kurt in dumpsters all over school. _“You wish it were a booty call Puckerman. It’s about Rachel_.” Finn was angry his stepbrother wouldn’t come to him and would go to Puck of all people when it came to Rachel. Also, worry washed over him as he put two and two together. It was about Rachel and it was urgent. Without thinking much, he barged in Kurt’s room making the smaller boy almost fall off his chair in the process.

“What the hell Kurt? What’s wrong with Rachel? And would you go to Puckerman? I’m the one you must tell everything Rachel-related, not Puck, not anyone. Puck only wants in her pants. I care about Rachel, a lot. You’re my stepbrother, you should come to me, you should be on my side,” Finn said, defeated. Whilst Kurt felt bad for Finn, he also knew he needed to be firm with him, so that he could move on. “Finn, Rachel and you aren’t exactly on speaking terms. I doubt you’ll ever be. Whereas, she’s friends with Puck, they have been a long time ago, as I understand. And I’m Rachel’s friend, I’m on Rachel’s side.” As Finn got ready to answer, the bell rang, he rushed to be the one to open to Puck and get to the bottom of it all.

“What is it with you sniffing around Rachel all the time, you promised man!” Finn exclaimed. Puck didn’t even answer, he just pushed past him and headed to the kitchen where he could see Kurt waiting for him. Finn followed him and as he was about to speak again, Puck turned to him, a dark look on his eyes. “Whatever is going on between Rachel and I, is none of your business, Hudson. You had your chance and you blew it. Rachel and I date a while ago, you certainly remember whining about me spending all my time at hers, not with you. We’re not going to back at this, are we?”

Kurt felt the tension between both boys. Clearly, Finn felt threatened by Puck, how could he not? Puck was handsome, extremely sexy and attractive – even Kurt, who was perfectly happy with Blaine – had to admit it. Plus, he and Rachel had history – a lot of history – and Kurt needed to have a chat with Puck in that regard. He wasn’t sure what his intentions with Rachel were. “Finn, Puck. Enough already of the pissing contest. That’s not why I called you Puck. Finn, I originally did not call you, but well, I guess you won’t leave, will you?” Finn shot him a determined look. He’d stay and there would be no debate.

“Spill Hummel, I rescheduled a hot date and I am having blue balls because of you,” Puck shot him with a smirk. “Sweet Merciful Lord, I don’t know what Rachel sees in you. But, I guess, there must be something, deep, really deep inside. Anyway, I was at Rachel’s earlier this afternoon, and we were chatting, you know as two friends do, and well…” Puck shot immediately, restless. “Cut to the chase Kurt, is she alright?” Kurt sighed, he didn’t know how to break the news to them. “She is, not to worry, tall, dark and broody. But I am worried, Jesse is back and…”

Puck jumped from his stool so violently that Kurt had no other choice but to interrupt his speech Finn was fuming next to him, his eyes bulging. “Jesse St James?” they both shot at the same time, looking at each other. “Yes, Jesse St James. He’s back to Lima for a while. He confessed his love and regrets to Rachel, and well, you know how Rachel can be. She’ll lay on you, and then, eventually give you a second chance. Don’t look at me that way Finn, she did give you a second chance after your uninspired stunt with Brittany and Santana. I never said she’d give three chances. Not the point. I’m worried guys, I don’t know what St James is up to, and for obvious reasons, I cannot trust him.”

“No kidding Hummel, he egged her – literally – and humiliated her in front of our Glee Club and Carmel’s. He is a douche, and I am going to go and punch the shit out of him. Now if you’ll excuse me, Kurt…” Finn seemed to agree with his (former?) friend. “I’ll come with you Puck, the guy needs to be taught a lesson.” Kurt put his hands on his hips. _They were such boys_. “None of you is going to do that. He would just have an excuse to run to Rachel and she’ll soothe him and cure him while she’ll lay on you. Instead, you are going to listen to me. You are going to sneakily gather intelligence for us, keep an eye on what they do, as I cannot do it myself for obvious reasons. Understood?”

They both nodded, although Puck knew he’d need to talk to Rachel about this. Finn asked then the question Kurt was expecting: “Are they like, back together or something?” Kurt couldn’t help but see Finn’s heart break at the thought that Rachel would move on. The thing is she had, already. Puck was quick to reply. “Hudson, you are with Fabray. Can’t you just focus on that and let Rachel be? You can’t keep doing that to her. It’s not fair.”

“Sure, and that would serve your plans to get back with Rachel and steal her away from me, right, Puck? Why do you have to take interest in everything that I want?” Finn asked, getting angry at the thought of Rachel and Puck together. Kurt was quick to jump in, hoping to ease the tension. “Enough you both, I said. No, they’re definitely not together, she told him it would take a while before she trusts him again. They’d see each other as friends, at most.”

“How can she do that? I mean he egged her,” Puck complained with a mix of disgust and sadness in his tone. “Well, you did slushy her every day for the past four years, Puck,” Finn said, way too happy to corner Puck. That had hit home, Noah Puckerman was enraged, he angrily took his jacket, pushed the stool in front of him and aimed for the door. _He is right, I did slushy her_. _She forgave me, and I did make amends. Why wouldn’t she forgive St James, for egging her once, and why does it bother me so much that he’s back_?

As he was getting into his truck, he heard a voice. “Puck! Wait, I have to speak to you.” Kurt was running at him, and he got into his car under the eyes of a dumbfounded Finn Hudson on the porch. “Take me to dinner, Puckerman. We have to talk.” Puck looked at him as if the kid in front of him had turned crazy. “About Rachel,” Kurt added with an eye-roll. “Alright, Hummel. But just for the record, this is not a date.”

“You wish, Puckerman. Now, shut up and drive.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all those following this story, kudosing, subscribing and commenting. Please don't hesitate to let me know how you'd like to see the story evolve ;-) !


	10. New Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rachel continues to navigate through forgiveness, hurt, comfort and friendship mostly. A lot of Noah/Rachel moments, with a bit of Sam there as well

_From: Rachel Berry_

_To: Shelby Corcoran_

_Dear Shelby,_

_Thanks for your email. It took me a little while to write you back. Frankly, the reason is I do not know what to say, and also, because there have been quite a few events unfolding here in Lima. First, I quit Glee Club. Don’t worry, I am not giving up on my dreams of Broadway – never. But, I could not be in a group that did not like me for me, anymore. I am working on my own, always with the same dedication, commitment and goal-oriented mindset._

_Also, Jesse St James is back in town. I assume you would know, he did mention you two were still in touch. We adopt a full transparency policy since we rekindled our relationship. Nothing romantic, at least not yet. We’re friends. We’re taking things slow, but I understand the reasons why I fell for him in the first place. He hurt me though, and that is still stinging._

_You hurt me too, but I think we sorted that out a long time ago, and I am ready to move on. I hope you are too. We cannot be daughter and mother anymore, but that does not mean I do not consider Beth as my sister. I’ve always wanted a sister. Therefore, I extend my gratitude as to your offer for us to meet. I would love that. We could drive to Columbus this weekend and spend the day with you and Beth?_

_The reason I am saying “we” is that I will come under one condition. That you let me bring my friend Noah Puckerman with me. He does not say it, but Noah hurts too. He and I were friends when we were kids and then lost touch for a while before we recently rekindled our relationship, too. I guess you can call it the season of new beginnings – I’d like to believe it can be for us too. Anyway, Noah hurts because his father walked away on them, and that left a hard print. He doesn’t say it, but he feels that in a way, he did the same to Beth._

_I see the way he looks at her picture in his wallet every time he opens it. I don’t ask from you to let her be a father to her. For a wide array of reasons, it would be unfitting. However, he deserves to know her, be present in her life in a way. I think that would appease him. I also trust it would appease Beth when the times comes to have “the talk” – the one about her filiation, not the intricacies of adult relationships as Mr. Schuester would put it, although on a second thought, Noah would also be of a great help then._

_Please let me know your views on the above._

_I’ll be expecting your reply to organize for this weekend._

_Yours truly,_

_Rachel Berry_

Rachel pressed the hit button without reading the email. That was so unlike her. But she knew that if she read it before, she’d second guess it. She had received an email a few weeks ago from her biological mother asking her if she was interested in getting to know Beth, her sister, _Noah’s biological daughter_ – and interested in getting a new start on their own relationship. Maybe she could be friends with Shelby. So, she decided to agree. She also decided to loop Noah in. She didn’t exactly ask his opinion, but it came to her naturally. Noah deserved to know his daughter. Quinn too, despite all the bad blood between them. But she figured that two of them at the same time would be a bit too soon. Better do it gradually. She saw in Noah’s eyes, the longing for his daughter, the regret, the hurt each time he would open his wallet and his eyes would fall on his daughter’s gorgeous features. She never dared to talk about it with him because she knew he would not be comfortable. She also wanted to show him that she had truly forgiven him. He had made grand gestures for her over the last few weeks, he constantly defended her in high school, did homework with her, helped her avoid Sam and Finn whenever he could, had “the talk” with Jesse – sure he had almost ended up in a fight, but he tried. She wanted to be the one, for a change, to make a move for him. To show him that she cared, that she did not take him for granted.

That morning, Sam got to high school in a sour mood. The motel sucked more than ever, Rachel was still not speaking to him outside tutoring and her great friend Puck was still around to interpose whenever he would get a chance to get close. He didn’t dislike Puck, they were buddies, but he also had told him that he’d remain first and foremost “Team Rachel” even though he was “Team Evans” as long as it did not collide with the first rule. Between classes, his jobs and sports, Sam didn’t have much time to build friendships, so he just stuck with Puck and some folks in Glee, mainly Mike and Artie. They were cool.

As he was rolling Artie in English class, Puck by their side, he saw their teacher flash him a radiant smile. _Odd, she usually doesn’t notice I exist_. The class started and their papers on Euphemism in 20th century theatre were being handed back to them. “Great work Samuel, not sure what you’re doing, but keep doing it.” He was dumbfounded. “A-.” He couldn’t believe it. That was all Rachel. She never gave up on him, even when things got tough at tutoring, even when treated her despicably. His mother would be so proud. He never brought an A back home before. Maybe this could lift up the spirits at the Evans. He didn’t know whether to smile or to cry, so he did both of the above. “Such a pansy,” said Puck, patting his back in a sign of support. He knew what it meant for Sam. He also knew that regardless of what Rachel would say, she would be ecstatic. Not only because it would demonstrate her tutoring skills, but because it would be Sam.

Later that day, Sam bolted out of nowhere at Puck’s locker where he was discussing with Rachel. He heard Rachel say, “Noah I’d like to talk to you about something,” but decided to go for it anyway even though he was ruining a moment. Clearly. “Rachel, thank you, thank you, thank you,” he exclaimed, hugging her. Rachel was confused, Sam and she were not on speaking terms. She made it clear that outside tutoring, they weren’t to interact. She didn’t hug back. Instead, she stood still – which didn’t go unnoticed by Sam, who was a bit hurt. “Samuel, what is it with you? This isn’t a good moment, I was about to address a serious topic with Noah.”

Puck was a good soldier, he seconded what Rachel had just said. “Yes, Evans. Rachel had taken her serious slightly worried voice. Now, I am both curious and stressed to know what she’s up to.” Sam ignored Puck, he took Rachel’s hand again and said. “Rachel, I got an A- on my English paper. It’s the first time in my life I am bringing an A home. My parents are going to be so happy. That’s all thanks to you. So, thank you, for this and for never giving up on me while I had given up on myself a while ago.” Puck smirked as he saw a glimpse of pride and happiness in Rachel’s eyes. He also saw the care, as much as she tried to hide it.

For her part, Rachel hated that her heart swelled just a little at Sam’s enthusiasm and joy. He still had an effect on her. She smiled – a true genuine smile, the first she flashed for him ever since that day the kissed – and said. “That is great news Samuel. I told you that you could anything you set your mind on. We’ll see how to work on that paper to make it an A+ next time, later this afternoon at tutoring. Now, if you’ll excuse us.”

That was his moment, he thought. “Rachel,” he exclaimed as she was getting ready to leave. “Can I please talk to you in private? Please” He had his puppy eyes. That is why she avoided him, because she _knew_ that if she locked her eyes into his blue sad eyes, she would give in. This is why during tutoring, she would always look everywhere but at his eyes. They were her kryptonite. As Noah was going for the save, she put a hand in the air and said. “It’s fine Noah. I’ll speak to you later.” Noah kissed Rachel’s cheek and departed, not without throwing a wink at his blonde friend.

There they were, once again. In an empty classroom. That felt familiar. “Well, I am listening Samuel.” Sam’s mouth went all dry. He didn’t know where to start. “Right. First, please call me Sam? Rachel, what I said to you was awful. I didn’t mean it. Hell, I didn’t even say it, you beat me to it. That shows you how much of a coward, I am. But you have to believe me that I didn’t mean it. Rachel, these last few weeks, they’ve been a nightmare. I couldn’t stop thinking about you. That day, when I saw you with Puck, I lost it. I have never been that jealous in my entire life. I thought you were together. I also was hurt because that kiss meant so much to me and I was about to go to you that morning to ask you to give me a chance.”

Rachel rolled her eyes. “Right. Publically making out with Santana wasn’t arguably the best way to do so, was it? You hurt me Sam. I understand you may have had wrong ideas about Puck and I. But instead of asking me and listening to me, you assumed I would do to you what Quinn had done to you – granted we were never dating to begin with. So, you decided to get revenge with Santana, and then hurt me with your words. How can you pretend to like someone and do that to them? That I fail to understand.”

Sam hadn’t expected for Rachel to push things that far, he wished she would just accept his apology. “I don’t know Rachel, it was pathetic of me. But with everything going on…” She looked at him, questioningly. He couldn’t tell her what was going on with his family. She would mellow, and it would not be right. It had nothing to do with it, and he couldn’t take it as an excuse. “I mean, football season didn’t go that well, apart from our one victory, and Glee is falling apart, and getting over Quinn, it’s just, you know. Anyway, it’s no excuse. I apologize profusely. I’ll get on my knees, I’ll do anything. Just, please give me another chance?”

As much as she missed him, she did miss him, his company, his dorkiness, she had to protect herself. She wasn’t ready yet. “Samuel, this is all very nice, but I can’t do this. I am all for being civil and dissipate the tension, but I don’t want anything more from you. At least not now. What tells me that the second you don’t get your way, you won’t go back to hurting me again? I can’t take that risk. I’ve suffered enough. I am sorry.” Rachel escaped from that classroom and left a heartbroken Sam there, tears forming in his eyes. _She forgave Puck for the slushies, that Jesse tool for the eggs, why can’t she forgive me_? The answer was obvious, he hurt her so much more because he had that power over her. Naturally, it’d be tougher to forgive. Stakes were higher – and Rachel had understood that already.

The tutoring session had been a torture for both of them. The tension was palpable. Yet, neither of them thought of even suggesting they stop partaking to it. Rachel had a responsibility and she never backed down from a responsibility while Sam felt it was the only tether he had to Rachel at the moment, and he needed that connection with her. Any connection with her. Rachel rushed to her singing lessons. She had been told about a new student coming in. “Her parents are in a tough place right now, and they thought it would be nice for her to have an extra-activity, to take her mind off things. Apparently, she sings non-stop. Her name is Stacey,” Dolly told her at the entrance desk.

Rachel immediately spotted the new face, the little girl was the cutest. Those long blonde locks, that small innocent smile and that doe eye-shape. She had seen that shape before, with a different color. She couldn’t remember, but that shape was familiar. “Hello Stacey, I am Rachel. I’ll be your singing teacher. It’s nice to meet you. I am so happy to have you.” In the next couple of hours, she could see that the little girl had potential. She had an ear for notes, could distinguish the nuances in a song, the changes in tempo. She also had noticed the sadness, the concern in her eyes. She also saw the wrinkled clothes, larger than her little size and understood that money was particularly tight. “Great work everyone. Stacey, you’ll fit right in. You did such an amazing work, and you have a beautiful voice. How did you learn?”

“My brother used to play the guitar to me and my brother, and we would all sing together. He is a good singer, too. He doesn’t have the guitar anymore. He had to sell it, because my mommy and daddy…” and then the little in front of her broke down. Rachel hurried to hug her. She reminded her of a younger Bekah. _It could’ve been Bekah if Mrs. Puckerman hadn’t worked her tail off, if she didn’t have my Daddies by her side_. “Stacey, don’t cry honey. We all go through tough times in life. But, they don’t last, usually. You know what does though?”

“What, Miss Rachel?” the little girl asked, as she sniffed. “Tough people, and you, Stacey, are a tough cookie. Alright? So, it will be hard, but you’ll get through this.” Rachel smiled and squeezed Stacey’s hand. During the evening, she told everything about her teacher to her older brother who was listening with a distracting ear. “Oh, Sammy, she is so beautiful, and she sings so well, I want to be just like her when I’m older. And she said I was a tough cookie. I am so happy Mom and Dad signed me up to the community center.” Stacey hadn’t mentioned the one thing that would’ve made her brother listen to her. Her teacher’s name. _Rachel_.

Friday rolled in quickly. The day before, Rachel went out with Jesse and she could feel the chemistry in the air. It wasn’t a date, but as he bid her goodbye with a kiss on the cheek, she had wanted more and pecked his lips. Startled at first, he kissed back, and the peck turned into a full-fledge kiss. She was recounting this to Noah, who, disgusted, didn’t say a thing. He wasn’t jealous – okay, maybe he was just a bit – but he was first and foremost concerned. He didn’t trust St James. “Anyway, we’re going on a date next week, a proper date. I don’t know Noah. We’re just so much alike,” Rachel gushed. She wanted to believe it. She had fondness in her eyes every time she thought of Jesse. That must mean something. Right?

Rachel was fidgeting with her hands, and Noah remembered that earlier that week, she had wanted to tell him something. They didn’t have the time to properly catch up ever since Evans interrupted them. “Rach, what’s going on in that beautiful mind of yours?” _Here goes nothing_ , Rachel thought.

“I would need you to drive me to Columbus tomorrow. We should be there around lunch time.” Puck scoffed. “As much as I’d like to see you on a shopping spree and be there in the fitting room, babe, I have plans. I have this hot chick I’m taking to lunch and then, well, you know what the Puckerone does.” He was smirking at Rachel, too happy to mess with her.

“Noah, must you be always so gross? No, I am being serious. I need you to come with me. I…” Puck knew Rachel, she never hesitated, never stuttered unless it was _really serious_. “Spill, Berry,” he commanded. “Well, I received an email a couple of weeks ago, from Shelby…” _Shelby_. That name was a tough spot for Puck, it reminded of what he lost, what he had given up on. “You did? How come I only hear about this now?”

“I didn’t know how to tell you. I know it is a sore topic. It is for me too. She asked if she wanted me to meet Beth.” Puck felt like his breath has caught in his throat, unable to circulate to his lungs. _Beth_. He had go to juvie in the process of forgetting her. “I accepted, under one condition. That you come with me. To meet her. Because I think you deserve to have a relationship with her, even though not a father-daughter one and you deserve to see with your eyes that she is happy and healthy.”

Puck was awestruck. When she asked they grabbed coffee together, he was miles away from expecting this. There was the girl he tormented for years, offering him on a silver plate, what he didn’t dare dreaming of. Not only had she taken him back after all of those years, but she was proving to him that she indeed had forgiven him. He couldn’t help the emotions swimming in his eyes.

Rachel misinterpreted Noah’s silence. “I am so sorry Noah, I can cancel right away. I am an idiot. I got it all wrong. I thought that’s something you’d want, but of course, I should’ve figured it would hurt too much, should’ve consulted you before…” Noah rushed to her and hugged her, tightly. “Rach, don’t you dare apologize. No one has ever done such a beautiful thing for me. Thank you so much. I blocked this out, but I need it so much. I’ll be forever grateful, Rachel. But, how did you know?”

Rachel exhaled, reassured she had read it right and was still able to figure out Noah’s inner thoughts. _Guess all those years did not go to waste_. His hugs felt so comfortable. This one, in particular, was something else. “Your wallet, Noah. The way you discreetly traced the features of her face. So, I take it you’re driving me there?” she asked cheekily. “Hell, I’ll drive you, I’ll do whatever you want me to do. Thank you so much, Rach. I love you so much. Have I told you I don’t deserve you?” Rachel laughed at that, it had become sort of a thing between the two of them. “You might’ve mentioned it once or a dozen times. But you do, Noah Puckerman. You’ve become a great young man.” He answered, softly: “Well, besides Ma obviously, I have you to thank.”

Saturday morning, both Rachel and Noah felt nervous in that car driving to Columbus. “What if she doesn’t like me?” Noah asked, realizing he would be meeting his daughter. “Noah, she will love you just as much as you love her.” He took her hand and then asked again. “How do you feel, Rach?” Rachel wasn’t sure how to answer that question. Part of her was excited to create something with Shelby, whatever it was. Another part still feared she’d end up disappointed again. “I don’t know. I’ve come to terms with the idea that Shelby will never be my mom. Yet, I still want her around. But, I am also scared I’ll end up hurt.” Noah understood. He felt the same about his father, if he’d show up again, he’d give him a chance despite it all. “I’ll be right by your side, Rachel. Always and forever.” At that instant, Rachel felt like nothing bad could happen.

And it did not. The afternoon was lovely. Shelby had let Puck play with Beth, he was excited and Beth had immediately the bee-lovey he had bought her as a gift. She was beautiful, the perfect mix between Quinn and himself. Shelby even let him tuck Beth to bed for her afternoon nap. Meanwhile Shelby had taken Rachel apart, and the two women had a heartfelt one to one. “I owe you an apology, Rachel. I wanted to get close to you, and I did it the wrong way, I hurt you and for this I’ll never forgive myself. But, I do want to get to know you. Also, the way I adopted Beth, that must’ve stung. I realized afterwards. You know how I did? The first time Beth asked for me to take her in my arms, and I remember you wanting just the same when we first met. I denied you, because I was a coward back then. But if you’ll let me. I’d really like to get to know you, from an adult to another. As friends, of some sort. Oh, and save me a sport for your Broadway debut.” Rachel felt the sincerity in her mother’s voice, she agreed to give her a second chance.

Puck had a tough time bidding goodbye to Beth. He and Shelby had agreed on exchanging news and photos of Beth as she grows up, and for visits once in a while. As much as he would’ve wanted more, he also understood Beth needed stability in her life, and he needed to be a decent parent, and do what all decent parents do: put his daughter’s needs before his whims. They also discussed the topic of Quinn. They all agreed that she deserved to know Beth too, and Rachel had offered to speak to her and get her to maybe come next time they would visit.

As they drove in comfortable silence back to Lima, they said both, Rachel broke it and said: “it was such a good day, Noah, don’t you think?” Puck couldn’t agree more. “God, it was better than that. It was perfect. Rachel, I’ll never thank you enough for this opportunity.” He squeezed her hand and she immediately squeezed back. “Okay, this is getting too much girly for the Puckster, Berry. Damn, you have that effect just on me, or is it on everyone?”

As they were approaching Lima, Puck decided to take a small detour in order to avoid traffic on the highway. “Noah, you know I hate this part of town. It’s the sketchiest.” Rachel whined. “I would’ve been fine spending a bit more time on the road, and not be around here. Puck just chuckled. It was indeed a dodgy part of town, the part where he could convince people on the streets to go buy alcohol for him. He couldn’t stop laughing at Rachel’s worried looks through the window, making sure they were safe.

“Chill, Berry. I got this. You’re with _me_. The badass resident. I know that with you I tend to do feelings and shit, but…” Rachel interrupted was not listening to him. She was too busy looking at the scene in front of her. There was that little girl from her singing classes, Stacey, playing with another very blonde boy, in a that sketchy neighborhood without any sort of supervision, in the small backyard of a motel?

“Pull over, Noah. Now,” she screamed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be up soon I hope, it will be a bit of a turn-around in the story. Comments are always appreciated :)


	11. Extending a Hand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter resumes after the little cliff-hanger of Chapter 10. Rachel and Sam have a moment, but the stubborn brunette doesn't make it easy

Noah Puckerman knew Rachel Berry. He knew when she got excited, when she got worried, when not to mess with her. Therefore, when she screamed “Pull over, Noah. Now,” he knew there was no room for debate. To say that he was surprised she’d be willing to stop in this part of the neighborhood, which she loathed – for good reason if he was being completely honest – was an understatement. It took him half a second to realize what was going on and follow Rachel outside of his truck, to ensure that she was safe. He saw run to a young blonde girl, who was barely younger than Bekah and hug her. She must know the girl. Noah thought he’d be concerned as well if his sister was playing alone in this part of town, right by the Reynold’s Motel, a crappy motel with a reputation – not necessarily a good one, that is.

“Stacey, darling. How are you? What are you guys out here by yourself? It is not very safe around here,” Rachel asked her new singing student she rapidly grew fond of. She saw a young boy by her side, who was slightly older. “Miss Rachel, it is good to see you,” Stacey happily exclaimed, hugging her teacher back. “This is my brother, Steve. Steve, this is Miss Rachel, she is my singing teacher at the community center.” Rachel waved at Stevie, whose features were oddly familiar although her brain would not make the connection right now, probably too concerned to find two kids playing around this motel. Unless? They could not. She knew Stacey’s parents had issues, but they couldn’t possibly be living here. She decided to approach the question cautiously. “It is nice to meet you, Stevie. This is my friend Noah. Noah, these are Stacey and Stevie. I give Stacey singing classes at the community center. Stacey, maybe you should also attend the dance classes I give. Noah’s sister, Bekah, takes them too. I think you’d be good friends. Don’t you think Noah?”

Noah nodded and smiled fondly. He always had a soft spot for kids. These two seemed nice, too nice to be playing around there on their own, without supervision. He automatically took Rachel’s hand, his protectiveness showing unconsciously. Stacey picked up on that. “Miss Rachel, is Noah your prince charming, just like in the Disney movies?” Rachel laughed and leaned in Noah’s side a bit more. “No, Stacey. He is not. He is my best friend, we have known each other for ever. We’re a bit like you and Stevie, only we are not truly brother and sister, but sometimes, it feels like we are.” Rachel words’ made Puck’s heart swell. They were moving forward, past all he put her through. Oddly, it did something to his heart that she referred to them as siblings. Part of it was comfort and relief, the other he couldn’t quite figure. He would think about it later, but it did not feel entirely comfortable. Rachel’s next question got him out of his own mind.

“Stacey, Stevie, sweethearts. Do you live around here?” She saw both kids tense immediately. As Stacey was about to answer, she saw a blonde woman bolting their way from the motel, desperately yelling “Stacey, Stevie,” running for her life. She reached the little group, and Rachel could look at her. She seemed exhausted, desperate and her features, while indicating she was a very beautiful woman, also showed that time had taken a little toll on her. She could read the worry in the woman’s eyes as she pulled the two kids behind her. The worry too. “Who are you? What are you doing talking to my kids?” she asked, slightly aggressively. Rachel took a couple of steps back to reassure the concerned mother, and raised both her hands in the air as a calming sign.

“I am very sorry, we did not mean to interrupt or startle you.” Before Rachel could finish, Stacey jumped in. Kids always had this impatience in getting people they like, get acquainted with each other, as if they couldn’t wait for the tension they could sense, to dissipate. “Mommy, this is Miss Rachel, she is our singing teacher at the community center.” Rachel immediately noticed the woman’s features soften before she plastered a polite smile. “Rachel Berry,” she said, extending her hand to shake the woman’s, who took it gladly. She saw the blonde’s face slightly change, her brows furrowing, as if she was trying to process Rachel’s name. Rachel decided not to mind it.

“I am truly sorry, my friend Noah and I were just driving by and when I saw Stacey playing by herself around the area, I just got concerned, Madam. I mean, it is not an area where you want to see kids on their own.” Rachel finished her sentence biting her lip, unsure of whether she’d offended the mother. The woman looked at her with another smile, a sad one. A smile that said, “I know this is not a safe place and believe me, if I could, I would get my kids out of here as soon as possible.”

“I always supervise them from the window, I just got a call I needed to take, and next thing I see is my kids speaking with two strangers. I am sorry I came off a bit strong. It is just, I worry so much all the time, and well, it’s not easy living… here.” The woman motioned to the motel. Rachel’s heart tightened at the idea that the beautiful innocent Stacey was forced to live there. She saw that the mother tried her best, that life had made a turn on the family for them to end up here. Both kids were standing next to their mother, on each side, and were looking to the ground, as if they were ashamed of their mother’s confession. “I am Amy, by the way, Amy Evans.”

_Evans_. Rachel looked at her with bulged eyes. _Evans_. Those shiny blonde heads. Stevie’s adorable oversized mouth. Stacey’s superb vocals. It couldn’t be. It was just a coincidence. Her head was twirling around. She needed to know. This couldn’t be happening, but she needed to know. She shot a look at Noah, who had the exact same question swimming in his mind. In a silence, they agreed they both needed to know. “Mrs. Evans, please excuse my curiosity. Do you happen to have other kids, beside Stacey and Stevie?” Amy looked at her questioningly, and the walls of suspicion were back on. After all, she did not know the girl who, in turn, seemed to know quite a bit about her family. “I do, yes. Why?”

Rachel could not back down, now. Her heart was throbbing in her chest, so hard that she could feel it in her ears. “Yes, please accept my apologies. I was not specific enough in my request. The reason why I ask, is that Noah and I go to high school with Samuel Evans, and the name, coupled with the fact that he looks like you, Stacey and Stevie, well I was just wondering…” The woman in front of her immediately relaxed, and could not help a little laugh. “Well, apart from his grandmother, no one calls him Samuel, but yes, Sam is my son too.” _That is where Sam lived_ , Rachel thought, her eyes unable to keep her tears at bay, which silently rolled on her cheeks. Stacey timidly asked. “Miss Rachel, do you know Sammy?” Rachel smiled at all the love that transpired from Stacey’s tone when she mentioned her brother. _Sammy_. He must be a good brother. Knowing him, there was no doubt he was.

“Yes, I do, sweetie. We go to school together. We used to be in Glee Club together, before I left. Your brother has a lovely voice, you know that? So do you.” She then looked at Amy and Stevie, again. She knew there was just one thing she could do. She excused herself for a minute, left the family with Noah in order to make a quick call. She then came back, with a radiant smile. “Mrs. Evans, can I please talk to you, in private? Noah, would you please keep an eye on our two gorgeous little friends?” Stevie stomped his foot on the ground. “We’re not little, Miss Rachel! Sammy always calls us that too.”

Amy Evans loved her children. She knew she was not doing right by them, having them live in this awful motel. When this brunette girl asked her to talk privately after she made a phone call, she couldn’t help her mind think the worst. What if she called social services? What if they took her kids away from her? “Rachel, you have to understand…” Rachel took the woman’s hand in hers, as she was her getting nervous. “Mrs. Evans, we’ll have plenty of time to talk about this, and for us to understand what happened. We all have difficult times in life. But now, I was going to ask if you had boxes. We need to pack.” Rachel smiled, as Amy’s face turned into a questioning one, again.

Rachel exhaled. “Amy, I can’t stand the idea of you and your family living, well, here. Stacey is an adorable little girl, and Sam and I know each other. So, I called my fathers and explained the situation to them. We have a guest house and we will be more than happy for you to stay there as long as you need to get back on your feet. It is comfortable and has all you need; all your kids need. The only adjustment we’ll need to do I suppose, is have Samuel sleep in the guest room in the main house, so that he can have his own room. I take it Stevie and Stacey can room together?”

Amy was taken aback. She did not know what to say. Here was this young high school girl offering her family a shelter, a much more decent one her and her husband were able to provide to their children. “Rachel, this is way too much. It is incredibly kind, but we cannot accept. I mean…” Rachel waved her hand in the air. “It was not a question, Mrs. Evans. My fathers and I won’t take no for an answer. The only question was whether you had boxes so that we can pack as early as now, because there is no way you’re staying her any longer, not if I can help it.” Amy just smiled, nodded and hugged Rachel tightly, whispering “thank you” at her ear.

A few moments later, Rachel, Noah and the Evans were putting the last boxes of the family in Noah’s truck. When she told Noah about her idea, he readily supported it. “Rachel, you really are something else. You know that, right?” he had told her. He recognized the selfless, generous Berry’s that had helped his family throughout all these years. “Mrs. Evans, would you please communicate my address to Mr. Eva ns. I take it Samuel is still at work. Noah, he works at the comic books shop nearby the Lima Bean. Can you go get him and bring him home, please after you drop us off? I am sorry to ask you, and I can call Deborah, if needed.”

Noah smiled at her, fondly. Rachel always worried about not bothering others. “Don’t sweat it, Rachel, it’ll be my pleasure. Now, everyone in the truck. We’ll have to squeeze in for a little, but it won’t be for too long.” They all drove in comfortable silence, Amy thanking Rachel once again, Noah simply in awe of how his best friend handled the situation, although a bit worried at how living with the Evans – with one Evans in particular – would impact Rachel. As they arrived, Rachel was showing around the Evans and after they visited the guest house, she welcomed them into the main house, where both Rachel’s fathers greeted the newcomers.

“Mrs. Evans, it is so good to have you among us. Please make yourself home and consider this your home for as long as you need. We have an extra car your husband or yourself can use at will, we have also extra keys for the family.” Hiram said. As Amy was about to speak, Leeroy chimed in. “Please, there is no need to thank us. I understand you thanked Rachel well beyond reason already,” he smiled. “We all go through tough times, and as a community here in Lima, we have to stick with each other.” Stacey shyly approached Leeroy who immediately took her in his arms, which made her giggle. “Look at you, you’re adorable. I am Leeroy, Rachel’s Dad, and this is Hiram, Rachel’s Daddy. You can call us Leeroy and Hiram.”

“I am Stacey. You said we were going through tough times. It is true, Mr. Berry. But Rachel taught me that tough times never last, but tough people do.” Amy mouthed a “thank you,” yet another, and Leeroy smiled at the little girl clinging at his arm. “She is right, and you, Stacey, are the toughest.” As the two families where getting acquainted, time was passing by. Rachel had an idea in mind, remembering what Stacey had told her during their singing lessons.

“Alright, now, let’s let the Evans settle in. Noah, why don’t you go and collect Sam? I understand that Mr. Evans usually does that, but he can directly come here, and Noah can fill in the duty. Right, Noah?” Puck immediately nodded with a smile. “Meanwhile, Stacey and I, have a little something to do together,” she added, winking at the little girl, but not willing to give more details. “Well, if that is okay with you, Mrs. Evans?” Rachel rapidly added, not wanting to feel too comfortable with taking away the little girl. Amy was prompt to answer. “Of course, Stevie and I can manage. And please, call me Amy.” Rachel smiled before she mysteriously left with Stacey. _Those two seem like two partners in crime_ , thought Amy.

Later that day, on the other side of Lima, Sam was getting out of work and while he expected his father to pick him up, he found Puck waiting for him. To say he was surprised was an understatement. As he looked questioningly at the guy with a mohawk, the latter said: “Get in Evans. I am under strict instructions to collect you tonight. Instructions from one Miss Rachel Berry, if you must know.” Sam was not sure why Rachel had asked Puck to get him from work, or how she knew at all where he worked and at what time he was supposed to be done for the day. He hopped in the truck and before he could open his mouth, Puck beat him to it. “I can’t say anything, I have just been asked to get you to the Berries, dude. But you have nothing to worry about.”

The traffic was light and so the ride was not that long, _which is good_ thought Sam who felt a bit uncomfortable being handled this way by Puck – and Rachel, by proxy – having no idea what to expect. The man driving by him side was simply humming to the music on the radio, harboring his signature smirk. As they pulled in the Berry driveway, the first he noticed was his truck. What was his truck doing here? “Puck, what the hell is going on?” He got no answer. As he was about to pop off, he saw Rachel on the porch. She was softly smiling and was holding Stacey, his sister, in her arms. Stacey felt all too comfortable in Rachel arms. _Who wouldn’t_ , he thought.

He got out of the car and his sister hopped from Rachel’s embrace to go and hug her brother. “Hi Sammy! I am so happy to see you. How was your day at work?” He smiled at his sister as he told her that his day was ordinary, and that he had made good sales at the comic bookstore. “How was your day, princess?” Stacey beamed at her, she seemed overexcited. She did not know where to start.

“We moved out the motel, and Mom, Stevie and I have spent all the afternoon packing. Well, Rachel and Noah helped us as well! Rachel’s Daddies are letting us stay here, isn’t it great Sammy?” Sam felt like he was living in a parallel world. How did Rachel find out about their situation? How did everything happen? As if she guessed his questions, his mother got closer to her children and after she hugged Sam, she began explaining. “Rachel saw Stacey and Stevie playing nearby the motel, and she recognized Stacey immediately since she gave her singing lessons.” Sam did not even know Rachel gave singing lessons, and definitely not to his sister. Then, while his mother was filling him in, he remembered that evening when Stacey was gushing about her teacher. She hadn’t said her name. “So, when Rachel told them, Leeroy and Hiram very kindly and readily offered that we stay at their guest house until we get back on our feet. Your father knows. He will be joining us later tonight.”

Sam could not believe what the tiny brunette in front of him had done for him and his family. It only took an afternoon for her to help them and get them out of a situation they have been stuck into for almost two months. He had a hard time keeping his emotions at bay. He jogged to Rachel and held her in a tight embrace. He was happy and relieved when she hugged him back. He murmured in her ear: “thank you so much Rachel.” Never had she felt so moved by a simple expression of gratitude. She wasn’t sure whether it was the hoarseness in his voice, the vulnerability, the hot breath coming out of his mouth – _his incredible mouth assorted with very soft lips I got to feel on mine once_ , she internally berated herself for thinking about this – or if it was just the effect Sam Evans was doomed to have on her, but she could feel herself shiver at his whisper in her ear.

She looked right into his eyes and squeezed his hand. Sam thought he could literally melt at the gesture. Leeroy and Hiram got out on the porch, which ended the moment between him and Rachel. At the same time, his father arrived and while adults were making presentations and giving their thanks and, Sam and Rachel were able to find a moment to talk. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Rachel asked, with a soft voice, not an ounce of reproach in her voice. “I would have been able to understand, I mean…”

Sam cut her off before she could finish her answer. “That’s precisely why I didn’t. Because I knew you’d try to find excuses for my deplorable behavior. See, I learned a word from you, deplorable,” he laughed nervously. “Anyway, I didn’t want what my family and I were going through to be used an excuse. I have no excuses. I hurt you in the worst possible way. I was mean, and I let my anger and insecurities get the best of me, and I can’t tell you how sorry I am. You, avoiding me over the last few weeks, it was torture. I need you, Rachel. Not just as my tutor.” He remained silent looking expectantly at her.

“I understand, Samuel. I can only imagine how hard it must’ve been. This is your home and you can stay as long as you want to. I hope that you enjoy your time here. As for us, I appreciate your apologies and regrets. I hope we can move on from what happened and be friends again.” Sam’s heart sank when she said the word “friends.” The reality is that he never stopped thinking about Rachel ever since he kissed her and he didn’t want to be her _friend_. “Why, Rachel?” he breathed. “Why did you decide to help me and my family, while I was awful to you? You didn’t have to.”

She knew that if she was honest with him, there would be no turning back. “Well, it was unhealthy for Stacey or Stevie to grow up in that type of environment. It was part of it. The other part, was you, Samuel. Let’s not play dumb. I care about you. You must think I am ridiculous, caring for people who hurt me at the first occasion,” she smiled sadly. Sam wanted to burry himself in that garden where they were roaming. If she could see in the night, she would’ve seen that Sam’s eyes were swimming in tears. “Rachel…” he whispered, as shame, regret, desire, longing and a dozen other feelings were invading his body and mind.

“That’s fine, Samuel. We’re expected for dinner anyways.” The dinner was joyful, jokes firing from everywhere in the table. Puck was seated next to Sam, and noticed that he wasn’t the most cheerful. “All good, Evans?” All Sam said was “Rachel,” and Puck nodded. He knew his best friend could hold a grudge and make you feel like shit about it. When time came to go to bed, everyone got up and the Evans headed to the guesthouse. Sam was however interrupted by Hiram.

“Samuel, you can of course accompany your family to the guest house. But we thought, if it is alright with you, that you’d be sleeping here in the main house with us. Like this, you could have your own room and bathroom. A young man like you should have his privacy and we’re sorry, there isn’t just enough space for that in the guest house.” Sam looked at Rachel’s father and nodded. “Thank you so much, Mr. Berry.” Hiram smiled and told him. “It’s upstairs, it is the third door to the left, wooden door with nothing on it. It’s next to our room, and Rachel’s room is on the other hand of the hallway.”

After spending some time with his family in the guesthouse, again trying to wrap his head around the idea that they would be living in an actual house, with nice generous people that agreed to help them, he retreated to the main house where it seemed like the Berries had already left for bed. As he entered the room that was assigned to him, his eyes settled on the closet where his mother had already put most of his stuff. Then he saw it. _It couldn’t be_.

In the corner of the room, against the wall, was his guitar. It wasn’t any guitar. It was his. He could recognize it among thousands. He had to sell it to help support a bit his family. He also saw there was a small post-it on it. “Welcome home, Sam.” At that very instant, he broke down and burst in tears. All that had unfolded during the evening, the new “home,” Rachel’s words, her kindness, everything came crashing down. He had barely any control on his legs when he went rushed to Rachel’s room, knocking furiously, hoping she was still awake.

“What is it, Samuel?” He entered without invitation, but at this point he didn’t care. He couldn’t go on like this, being barely on speaking terms with the girl that had done so much for him already, without expecting anything from him; the girl who believed in him when nobody did. “Rachel, how did you know about the guitar?” She smiled. “I have a new partner in crime in the house,” was all she said. “We’ve been in Glee together, I could see how much this guitar meant to you. It belongs with you. You had to have it back.”

As she said those words, Sam thought that the exact same sentence to apply to Rachel, to a T. _Rachel means so much to me. She belongs with me. I have to have her back_. “I am at loss of words with you Rachel, so all I’ll say is, once again, thank you.” He knew he did not deserve Rachel’s kindness or generosity. She’s always been perfect to him, and the repaid her by hurting her, insulting her, all because he couldn’t stand the idea of her with another man. That hadn’t changed. _Is that Jesse kid still in the picture_?

She waved her hand as a way to say that he shouldn’t mention it. “I meant what I said in the post-it. You’re home, Samuel.” She walked him back to her door, before she added. “As such, of course, you can bring Santana around if you’d like.” Sam was taken aback by Rachel’s sentence. He and Santana had broken up a few days after the kiss. He was too much of a dork according to her. He didn’t even spare a thought for Santana if he was being honest, a eye-browned brunette occupying his thoughts. “Rachel…” She interrupted him. “Good night, Samuel. Rest well.” Then, she closed her door at him.

_Rachel, please…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is going to be quite explosive, one word: Prom. 
> 
> Thank you all for your support and feedback :)


	12. Prom Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is Prom Night at McKinley, and the drama certainly unfolds as Rachel is a bit of a centre of the attention of the night. A song brings four boys practically to their knees, and the evening turns out to be quite eventful.
> 
> This chapter is a tad longer than usual, I hope you like it.

For the third time this week, Rachel and Jesse were going out on a date. Sam Evans was upstairs in his room at the Berry’s, cursing himself, Jesse, Finn, Puck – just a bit – and everything else in this world, for being home, stuck there like an idiot, while Jesse was downstairs, sweeping Rachel off her feet over and over. He remembered the shock first when she had told him she was going out the night of her first date with that dreamy asshole. He could not believe it, Puck had told him everything Jesse had done and she had forgiven him, while she couldn’t forgive Sam for a thing he had said – not even said, he stopped before, she just guessed because she was Rachel Berry and was cleverer than cleverness itself – out of spite, jealousy and frustration. How was that even possible? True, their relationship was more appeased. They could be around each other with relative ease, they had even taken on to do homework together with Puck in the days he wasn’t working, she kept tutoring him and she would always chat with him for a bit before they were off to bed.

But it was just that, they were friendly but they were not even friends. He felt like there was a lot of things they needed to tell each other, but could not. Each time he had tried to have a serious conversation with her, she had dodged it, either subtly or outright telling him that with him living with them, it would be better if they kept things uncomplicated. Funny that the night she chose to tell him so, was the night when he entered her room without knocking and found her in her towel, getting out of the shower, water droplets caressing her smooth smoking hot body. That image would remain stuck in his head forever. She was absolute perfection, Rachel Berry just for him. So close, yet so far away, metaphorically. “ _Metaphors are important, Sam_ ,” he can hear her say during their tutoring sessions.

Last time he brought back an “A” from English class, she had naturally wrapped her arms around his neck and he automatically wrapped his around her waist. It was a hug, a brief one. But for Sam, it was a _moment_. It was evidence, if he ever needed more, that he was falling hard for Rachel Berry. What he felt for Quinn seemed like a joke compared to the somersaults his heart was doing in his chest when she was close to him – which was not a whole lot, because she kept at herself. How could he not fall for her? She was gorgeous, kind, forgiving, passionate, driven, focused, determined, goal-oriented, had the voice of an angel. He could go on and on. Plus, she did his family a solid when they needed the most.

Needless to say, his family absolutely loved Rachel. His mother could not believe the second straight A he brought home – well to the Berry’s – and she didn’t even realize that it was Rachel tutoring him all along. He had mentioned tutoring but never her identity. That night at dinner, Amy wouldn’t stop thanking Rachel. Stacey had doubled her efforts in singing lessons and resolved to be as good as Rachel someday. They would often rehearse together and just do girl’s stuff together. His heart swelled each time they would exclaim “girls time!” and go out for shopping or an ice-cream. Then there was Stevie who had the cutest crush for Rachel, who he was constantly trying to impress. He would often ask Sam, “why don’t you date Rachel, she’s perfect!” Sam just nodded, and failed to answer because he knew that if he weren’t with Rachel at the moment, it was mainly his fault.

Despite all of it, he was sitting idly while another guy was taking Rachel on dates. He had asked her the day before whether she considered herself in a relationship with Jesse. He held his breath at her answer. “I don’t know. We haven’t really talked about it. I guess I am, yes.” After that, he had the worst night of his life. He couldn’t properly sleep, all the thought about was Rachel and Jesse together. Sure, he was still with Santana – sort of – and it was hot and heavy and all, but that is all it was. Purely physical. He didn’t have goosebumps when he thought of her, he didn’t feel the restless anticipation he felt before he knew he would spend time with Rachel, he didn’t feel that giddiness. All that, that was with Rachel. She was with another man. He knew better this time, though. He had to keep his jealousy in check, not make the stupid mistakes he had done before.

He was perusing through a comic book during the evening, jumping on his toes every time he would heard the door, or think he heard the door. That date couldn’t finish soon enough, he wanted her back home so that he could make sure that Jesse was not making too much of a good impression, that he still stood a chance. He did realize that at times, when she ran into him shirtless, she would ogle him – not so – discreetly, and she would like what she saw. He hoped she’d be able to like him for him too. She had once. But he messed it all up, by himself, _no help needed_ , he thought bitterly.

Then, there was Puck. He could swear all he wanted that Rachel and he were just friends, but Sam got hold of some glances, some small touches, small gestures that betrayed Puck’s infatuation with Rachel – _wait, infatuation?_ Seriously, Rachel was starting to rub off him way too much. Not that he complained one bit. Then he heard it. Finally. The door. Rachel was back. God, was it long. “Thank you Jesse, the night was lovely,” he didn’t mean to eavesdrop when he conveniently chose that moment to go to the bathroom on the floor. And what if he stopped at the top of the stairs to hear more of that conversation. “Thank you for your company Rachel. I’m glad we were able to have that conversation, that you’re giving me another chance, and that you accepted to go to Prom with me.”

Sam felt like throwing up. “ _Giving me another chance_ ,” it could only mean one thing. They were back together, which took Rachel even more further from him. _They are going to Prom_ together, the thought made his chest pang with envy and despair. Technically, he was supposed to go with Santana, but he couldn’t help green altering his vision at the thought that Jesse was the one who would buy the wrist corsage for her, get to put it around her beautiful perfect wrist, take her hand, dance the night away with her. That thought made Sam miserable.

That night, Sam did not come to her room for their usual before-bed chatter, Rachel couldn’t help but notice. She had a very nice evening with Jesse, but she stupidly looked forward to talking to Sam, even for a little while. She didn’t know why. They were becoming friends again, and the simple fact that he did not come made it feel like they were going backwards. _He must’ve been tired_ , she thought in order to justify this. On the other end of the hallway, Sam had walked back and forth from his room to hers at least a dozen times, but couldn’t get himself to knock and get in. He didn’t trust himself to keep his temper in check, should Rachel begin to recount her date with St James.

Prom was a week away and Rachel walked in that morning with Sam in school. The ride had been spent in uncomfortable silence, a topic hanging between them, both aware of it, yet both unable to get rid of the tension. Rachel saw Puck and walked to his locker, greeting him and telling him, excitedly: “I am going to Prom with Jesse, and before you say anything, yes, we’re trying again, and _yes_ you are going to behave Noah Puckerman.” Puck growled. “Fine, I’ll behave. But if he does anything he shouldn’t, I promise I won’t be gentle.” Rachel smiled at him and kissed his cheek lightly. For half a second, he fluttered. Noah Puckerman fluttered. It’s been a few days that Rachel has had this weird effect on him, while it was true they talked about this and both figured they were better as friends, he just couldn’t help these recent developments.

Later that day, Tina and Mercedes came to Rachel’s locker. She was thankful, they would be a good diversion for Finn Hudson who she was avoiding. Indeed, Kurt had told her that he may have inadvertently revealed she would go to Prom with Jesse St James, and that Finn was looking for her to speak. Needless to say, she wasn’t up for the discussion. “Hello girls, how are you? What can I do for you?” Tina spoke first. “We miss you Rachel… Not as a singer. We know you won’t be returning to Glee Club, but we were wondering if you would consider coming with us and Kurt to choose dresses for Prom?” Mercedes was smiling too, showing she seconded Tina’s request. “I mean, I’d like that, if that is not too much of an inconvenience. I know we haven’t always seen eye to eye, but…” Mercedes interrupted her.

“No, Rachel. You were right all along. We haven’t been fair to you, we took you for granted and haven’t been loyal to you when we should have. The reality is, you are a good person, Rachel, probably better than us. You stepped up when Kurt was harassed by Karofsky when none of us did. Kurt speaks very highly of you, and sure, you could be a bit… _intense_ in Glee Club, but we get it now, it is because you wanted us to sound our best. We’d like it if we could start over, and be friends. And to quote you, _I am going to hug you now_.” Rachel laughed at the memory of her telling this Mercedes after she gracefully let her have the solo at sectionals the previous year, and hugged her fellow diva. “It is settled then, let’s get those dresses together and show the boys,” Rachel exclaimed.

She was satisfied that she had finished the day without running into Finn. She knew she wouldn’t be able to keep her temper in check should he say anything about her relationship with Jesse. Sure, she didn’t feel for Jesse what she felt for Finn – _or for Sam_ , she thought, before shaking that thought away. _Get a grip Berry, you only kissed once_. Lost in her thoughts, she took the hallway where Finn’s locker was located. There he was, fuming. “Rach, Rach,” he yelled, getting her out of her Sam Evans-induced trance. She sighed. There it was. “Rach, wait, I need to speak to you.”

Rachel decided she’d try sarcasm as a shield. “Not to worry, I’ll be voting for you and Quinn for Prom King and Queen. Are we done here?” Finn looked at her, dumbfounded. “No, it’s not that at all. I mean, thanks Rachel, but that’s not what I came to talk about.” Rachel folded her arms on her chest and looked at him, expectedly, but remaining silent as a sign for him to go on. “Alright, there is a rumor that you might be going to Prom with Jesse St James. Is it true?” Rachel exhaled. There was no turning back now anyway. “Not that it is any of your business, but yes. I will. Considering he is my boyfriend, it makes sense that he would be my date for Prom, and I’ll expect you to behave, Finn,” she said in a threatening voice.

Then she saw it, the fury in his eyes, the little twitch in his mount that indicated he was going to be a spoiled brat again that could not accept that Rachel was moving on. “But, Rachel, he’s been awful to you. I am just looking out for you here, you cannot go with him. And you certainly cannot date him. It’s Jesse St James. All he’s tried to do was to steal you away from me when we were together. How can you forgive this and the egging, and the betrayal?”

Rachel laughed loudly, bitterly. Finn recoiled slightly, a bit afraid of Rachel’s reaction. He knew Rachel was the sweetest, but she could also be the fiercest when she needed to be. And she was scary for such a short tiny girl. “Listen, Finn. First, you have no say in who I can or cannot date, who I can or cannot go to Prom with. You stopped having a say in it when you broke up with me. Yes, Jesse has been arguably awful to me, that is quite right. But guess what, so were you, Finn.” She put her hand in the air as a way for him to let her finish, as she saw he was about to interrupt her. “You were ashamed of me, always worrying that people would see you with the Glee diva freak. You chose popularity over me every step of the way. You said you loved me, but you never showed it and at the first occasion, you dumped me. You dumped me while you were the one lying. You’ve been lying for months, to me. Have you ever apologized for all you’ve done? Never. Not a single time. So no, Finn, I did not ruin our relationship, nor did Jesse. You did. It was all your doing, and the day you decide to come to terms with the idea, maybe you’ll be able to move on. Also, Jesse never tried to steal me away from you. You decided to go on a date with Santana and Brittany, remember?”

Finn took her hand in his, her small delicate hand. _God, I miss her. What did I do to us_? He led us in the nearest classroom. “Rachel, can we please talk, without animosity? Please?” None of us noticed that Sam had followed them and was staying around the classroom just in case. “There was no animosity on my end, Finn. Just a few truths that needed to be said.” Finn smiled sadly at her. “You’re right. I haven’t treated you right, Rach. For that, I am sorry. But I’m willing to change. I still love you, I always will. Please…” he said, softly. He felt all he did with her was begging, but she was worth it. He finally realized she was, it took for him to lose her to realize it.

“Finn, this is sweet. But they’re just words. We both are in relationships. I don’t think Quinn would like it if she knew you were here, trying to get me back behind her back. I won’t be the girl who will break up a couple. Not again.” Finn got closer to her as she stepped back, her back practically against the wall. “I’ll break up with Quinn, I swear. Once we’re crowned King and Queen, I’ll break up with her…” Rachel laughed acidly. _Popularity, always_. “There, Finn. That’s precisely why you and I won’t never work. I am not going to sit around and wait for you to win whatever plastic crown that makes you feel good about yourself. I am not a second choice. I’ll never be.”

She tried to circumvent him and get out of the classroom, but he held her arm, gently though, in a desperate attempt to make her stop. She slightly grimaced, and that was all it took for Sam to bolt in the classroom and push Finn away from Rachel. “Dude, she said no. Let her go, you’re hurting her.” Rachel’s heart couldn’t help but swell at Sam’s protectiveness. “Sam, it’s okay. Finn didn’t hurt me. But Sam is right, Finn. I am not interested, and I won’t be. Please leave me alone. Let’s go, Sam. Dad and Daddy would be expecting us for coffee.” She then took Sam’s hand, leaving a dejected Finn behind. Goosebumps were coursing through Sam at the mere touch of her skin. It had been a while since last time she took his hand. It fitted it so right in his, and he did not let go during their walk to her car.

“How’s Glee Club going, girls? Sam told me that Mercedes got the solo and the lead in the duo with Finn, congratulations!” The three divas and Kurt were at the mall, roaming around for the perfect dress, Mercedes was trying on a dress that fitted just right. The color was not perfect for her complexion tough. At least according to Kurt. “I don’t know how you used to do it, Rachel. Honestly, it is so much pressure. Sometimes, I feel like my voice won’t respond. Also, I hadn’t realized before, but it does take a lot of practice. I understand why you spend your time at the auditorium in between classes. Not to mention, you really had to work hard to make Finn look good out there. I feel like he regressed so much ever since you left, or maybe our voices don’t mesh well.”

“I used to coach him a lot, make him work on his songs to be honest. He would only do so because they were make out sessions in between,” Rachel said, her cheeks flushing. “I think you should try to sing with Sam, Mercedes. He’s got a beautiful voice that would complement yours very nicely.” Mercedes grinned. _She found the dress_. “You look gorgeous, Mercedes!” Tina exclaimed. Rachel nodded with a wide smile while Kurt looked at her appreciatively. “Perfect, Cedes. I just wish I could come to Prom with you guys. It would’ve been so much fun.” Kurt was still at Dalton’s, and he enjoyed his time there – and of course, there was his boyfriend, Blaine, whom the girls had all met. Blaine had a soft spot for Rachel in particular, for whom he had (not so) secretly a straight-platonic crush. “We’ll see you at the after-party, Kurt. With Blaine! It’s been a while I didn’t see him. How is he?” He smiled. “Back off my boyfriend Berry. You have your own – and another blonde who’d like to be.” Rachel looked at him, in utter shock.

“We’ve all noticed how Sam looks at you in the hallways, in class, how proud and happy he is to come every morning to school with you,” Tina said. “And although I’m not at McKinley anymore, you know there is nothing that happens there without me knowing,” Kurt said in a mischievous tone. Rachel folded her arms in _faux_ annoyance. “Nothing is going on between Sam and I. He is just a friend that I am trying my best to help in a time when he needs it. I am with Jesse, who’s been absolutely adorable, must I say. End of discussion. And you, you two, what are you? The Angels to Charlie over there – or should I say the Demons!” They all laughed before Kurt concluded. “Well, there are Three Charlie’s Angels. Would you be the third one, Rachel Berry.” She exhaled, exasperated. “I’d be my honor, Charlie. Now that we all have our dresses, let’s get out of here.”

Kurt had gone to Rachel’s to help her and Lauren Zizes get ready for Prom. Lauren had tagged along and the plan was for Puck to come and pick her up while Jesse would pick up Rachel before they head all to dinner and then to the party. Sam had already gone to pick up Santana, his date for Prom, as they would all hang out with the cool kids at some pre-party before Prom. Then came the time traditional descent of the stairs moment where the girls would show off their dresses for the first time. Puck was discussing animatedly with Rachel’s fathers when Lauren appeared. There was no doubt that Hummel had incredible skills when it came to dolling up a girl. Lauren looked just as badass as before, but a precious badass if you will. She was gorgeous with her dark blue dress and her hair styled in a physically impossible yet real bun. However, it wasn’t for Lauren that Noah’s breath got caught in his throat.

It was for one Rachel Berry. She had her hair styled in a looser way compared to Lauren, with few locks framing her lovely face. Her neck was for everyone to see, and it was perfect. Any lips would love to nibble on that perfectly-held neck. Her make-up was on point, mostly nude to feel natural yet sophisticated. _What, he had a sister and a mother_. And then, there was her dress. It was a strapless light pink dress that was so Rachel. His face grew of fondness remembering her seventh birthday when she was wearing a princess dress very similar to this one, with arguably more glitter on it. This time around, no glitter. Or rather, she was the glitter. As she reached the ground floor, he couldn’t refrain from handing over his hand for her to take the last step. It had to be his hand, regardless of the death glare that Jesse St James was sending him. Puck planted a light kiss on her cheek, and he felt all the flutter get back to him in his belly. He, Noah Puckerman, the badass-in-chief, had unresolved feelings for Rachel Berry, the drama diva. He thought he had resolved them, but apparently, it was all a travesty. _Travesty_ , again a Berry word that had found its place in his vocabulary.

“Rachel, you look positively stunning, baby,” Jesse St James beamed, kissing her hand before kissing her lightly, under the protective look of her fathers and the envious look of Noah Puckerman. They all headed to Breadsticks, where the night was overall going smoothly. Sure, there was a bit of tension between Noah and Jesse, but nothing too heavy and Rachel decided it would be better to shrug it off. She couldn’t help her giddy smile every time she noticed that Jesse would zone out from the discussion for a bit and stare lovingly at her. At some point, she leaned over to Noah and whispered. “Noah, I think we should figure out soon what to do with Quinn, she’s her daughter too, after all.” Noah nodded, they had discussed the other week when they went to see Beth and Shelby, that Quinn should be given the opportunity to connect with Beth, especially since Shelby would be moving to New York at the end of the school year, which was a couple of months away. “Fair enough, but I’d rather you sort it out with her. I am not really comfortable talking to her about _this_ ,” or talking to her really. Quinn was still a sore topic, and Rachel understood. She just squeezed his hand in comfort and that sent goosebumps to his chest. “Also, Rachel, I didn’t tell you, but you look absolutely breathtaking tonight.” She smiled widely at him.

“Let’s go guys, I want to go burn that dancefloor all night long,” Lauren exclaimed and they were all off. Jesse took her hand gently and did not leave it until they got inside the gymnasium that was turned into a ballroom for the occasion. Puck was flanked at her right with Lauren on his arm. She was smiling to her boyfriend, and felt the looks on her, in particular Quinn Fabray’s venomous look. She sighed, she knew she’d have to talk to her at some point. _The things I’d do for Noah_. She was oblivious to the effect she had on the boys in the room, and on two of them, in particular.

Finn Hudson had his signature naïve smile on as she entered. He knew Rachel was beautiful, but she was the most beautiful he had seen her, and he was beginning to reconsider what he said to Quinn earlier when he told her she was the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen. Quinn was an outstanding beauty, her features, her hair, her body, it all screamed of perfection. But Rachel had a tiny _je ne sais quoi_ that made her glow, her confidence, her strength in the face of adversity, the way she handled herself, and that _smile_. He’d fall for that wide smile any day.

Sam Evans felt he needed to force himself to actively remember how to breath. _Inhale, exhale_. He thought he was already sufficiently in love with Rachel Berry as it were. But he was dead wrong. As soon as she entered, something changed. It wasn’t her unique beauty, it was something in the air that got altered when she arrived. He was in awe, and he wasn’t sure he was able to keep his mouth actually shut as he stared at her. Every step she took, the little hand she used to go through her locks – he wasn’t sure whether he wished he was the hand or the locks themselves. That dress hugged her body in all the right places and her cleavage looked simply perfect. _God, those teenager’s thoughts_. He hadn’t forgotten about her incredible butt, which was the result of years of sport and dancing. And of course, _those lips, that smile_. He’d be ready to crawl and beg for her to smile at him the way she was smiling at Jesse right now. The love, the care. It made him want to go to his knees.

The night was going well, the Glee Club had really made a nice effort. Sam, Puck and Artie’s rendition of Rebecca Black’s “Friday,” and that was telling something as Rachel loathed the song, initially. But Sam’s moves, _God Sam’s moves_. She was quick to erase that thought of her head. She was with Jesse, who incredibly charming and handsome. She then excused herself, and Jesse looked at her quizzically as she headed to the scene. “ _I’ll have a little surprise of my own for Prom_ ,” she had told him on their last date. The surprise was her singing. She crossed with Puck and Sam as they were getting out of scene, and both of them looked dumbfounded. Rachel was not on the program, was she? Mr. Schue shot a look to Principal Figgins, who was simply smiling and nodding.

Then, _that voice_. _“No, I can’t take one more step towards you, cause that’s waiting is regret._ ” Rachel Berry, on stage. The whole school had to turn for a second, they had to know whose voice was coursing through the room. They all hated that they were under the resident freak’s spell, but they were. There was no denying it. Mercedes and Tina were half-dancing, half-filming for Kurt, Artie was looking at her with a wide smile on his face, happy to see her perform again. But there were four boys in the room which were spiraling, barely aware of the what they were actually doing.

Finn was swaying with Quinn in his arms, but his mind was all Rachel. _“Don’t come back at me, don’t come back at all_ ,” she had looked right into his eyes when she sang that line in particular. He knew Rachel Berry, he knew she best expressed herself in songs and seeing all the meaning she poured in this song, the raw emotion, every note was the expression of a different emotion. He knew that she was slipping away from him, and that made his eyes water in tears. He sensed Quinn’s head lean on his shoulder. “There is no one else I’d rather be here with.” He remained silent. He couldn’t reciprocate this without lying. There was Rachel Berry he’d rather be with, at that very moment.

Noah Puckerman too knew his best friend. He saw the gleam in her eyes, the tears kept at bay, _“the ice inside your soul_ ,” had hit home when she sang it. She spared him a tiny look, smiling when she sang it. He wondered whether she was transmitting a message, whether she was telling him something. They were back at a good place although he knew he had to make more efforts until she trusted him completely. That thought made him sad as he was dancing with Lauren, his hand soothing her back in a way to soothe himself and convince himself that everything would be alright.

Jesse St James had started with a frantic smile on his face when he found out Rachel would be singing. Rachel on stage was not just a scenic exercise from someone who was close to being a professional, it was a _moment_. She had this ability to convey emotion on every word, every breath she took. She looked at him during the song, in particular when she sang _“I have grown too strong to ever fall back in your heart_ ,” and it got him wondering whether she was telling him that, after all, she couldn’t get over what he had done to her. The night had begun so well, he didn’t want to believe, they were so good together. Her look must’ve been a coincidence, just that.

And there was Sam Evans, who let Santana have the lead in their dance, unable to do anything but stare at Rachel. Even Santana had to confess to him mid-song, “Berry sure has a gorgeous voice, I even feel it down my spine.” He had nodded absentmindedly, too focused on Rachel’s choice of song. She hadn’t told him she would be singing the slow dance. It has been her secret. That song was beautiful he thought, but that was until he heard Rachel sing it. It was absolutely sublime. He felt every letter of it down to his very core. Then, it happened. She stared at him, with a soft smile when she sang _“I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed_ ,” and that alone, made him want to crawl to stage and beg for forgiveness. He could never regret it, that kiss was everything. It was the best kiss of his life. He had screwed it up big time, but the fact that she was singing a song about not wanting _him_ back, boring right into his eyes, was too much for him to handle.

Then, the song was over. For the four boys, it felt like ages, but it was barely four minutes of Rachel Berry’s perfect voice. The room erupted in cheers and applause, even Dave Karofsky couldn’t help but applaud the diva he had slushied so many times he couldn’t count them. Rachel went back to Jesse’s arms and hugged him tightly under Finn’s gaze, Puck’s sad smile and Sam’s watery eyes. “You were spectacular over there, baby,” Jesse had whispered to her, pride in his voice. “Now let’s dance!”

The night had gone well, she was surprised she had received a standing ovation from her peers. The girl who always wanted to belong, had belonged for a couple of minutes, for her talent. That thought alone warmed up her heart. She was dancing with Jesse at the beat of a song Tina and Mercedes nailed so well, and she was giggling at Jesse’s lips roaming over her sensitive neck. _He is indeed skilled_ , she thought until, out of nowhere, Finn Hudson shoved her boyfriend away, asking him to “keep it PG.” Quinn’s despair was visible on her face as she tried to control her own boyfriend, but there was no controlling an angry Finn. The punch had gone fast, and Jesse was athletic enough to dodge it before Sue Sylvester fired them both from the dance. There it was, Rachel’s night was ruined by Finn. _Once again_.

She saw Quinn rush outside of the ballroom, screaming that it was unfair that her running mate was out of competition. Rachel headed the same direction when Sam pulled gently on her arm. “I am so sorry for your night, Rachel. Were you going somewhere?” She answered: “Yes, going after Quinn. She seemed really upset, no one deserves to feel that miserable on Prom night, especially not over Finn Hudson.” Sam was in awe of Rachel’s kindness, she gave it away so easily, especially to those who did not deserve it. As he wondered where Santana had slipped, Rachel had seen her in an empty classroom, making out with Britany. She wished she could say she was surprised, but she was not. She was simply heartbroken for Sam who would have to face yet another heartbreak. Santana caught Rachel’s dress fly by and rushed to the door. “Berry, wait!” Rachel shot back. “Not now, Santana, we can speak later if you want.”

She went straight to the bathroom where she heard Quinn’s light sobs. _Even when she sobs, she is beautiful_. As she entered, she saw Quinn jump at her throat, literally. “No one is going to vote for me, because they all know that after all, he’d rather be with you. He couldn’t look at anyone else, anything else but you Ru Paul,” and then her hand went to smack Rachel’s left cheek as Rachel was about to deny Quinn’s claim. Claim was heaving, her breath short. “Rachel, I am sorry…”

Rachel looked at her, with a mix of hate and pity in her eyes. She had come with the intention of comforting her ultimate nemesis, but that intention evaporated fast. “Anyway, I didn’t come for that, Quinn. I came because I, Ru Paul, thought you’d want to have this.” She handed over a recent photo of Beth with Puck, both beaming at the photographer, Rachel. “Is it…” Quinn was at loss of words, which was a novelty for this Ice Queen. “Beth? Yes. I convinced Shelby to let you and Noah get to know, at least, a bit, your daughter. Me, Man Hands, the unbearable freak that you torture day in, day out. Yes, me. I am the one who was, and still is, so adamant for you to meet your daughter and get a relationship with her.”

Quinn’s head was in a tornado. There was not a single day she didn’t think of Beth. She tried to block it out as much as she could, but she wondered everyday how her little girl was doing, what she did look like. She was perfect, she could tell from the photo Rachel gave her that Shelby was taking very good care of her. “Rachel…” But the brunette was quick to answer, venomously. “Don’t call me that. I am Ru Paul, Man Hands, Treasure Trail to you. I’ve never been, Rachel.” Quinn didn’t expect that reaction from a girl whose girt she had underestimated over the years. “But, I…” Rachel walked to the door and then turned her head. “Save it, you have no excuses, Quinn. None. And I am not doing this for you, you certainly don’t deserve it. But Beth does.” She then walked out, leaving a distraught Quinn Fabray behind.

Rachel let out a breath she had retained for all the time she was in the bathroom. She didn’t mean to lay it out on Quinn that hard, but the anger her boiled over and she had lost control. _It has been an eventful evening, to say the least_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your support and for following this fanfiction. I am taking it to a very different direction a few chapters, but next on is the aftermath of Prom Night


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